This January, I thank God for -

**FRIENDS - you know who you are - because of your kindness my brother got his laptop (among others) in one piece.

**MOVIE NIGHTS - usually tuesdays, as the rates during the rest of the week doubles

**SUMMER RAIN - God knows I will probably faint at a 40 degree-C temperature He brought rain in between the hot summer!

**a PATIENT HUSBAND towards a wife who goes mute mode from time to time..DO NOT TRY AT HOME - one could get shouted at 'nough said!

**a praying resource development manager - thank God our department is no longer an orphan

**lunches at Charles St Wharf - alone but definitely NOT lonely..

My 2007 Gratitude Highlights

I can't even begin to articulate my thanksgiving and praise for a year full of blessings and delight. The setbacks were minor, and there were always bigger reasons to be grateful for!

**In February, we finished gathering all the requirements for the Australian Embassy. We thank friends who stood with us in prayers and those who helped us accomplish them- thanks to friends who writing that statement for us; Aileen for my accomodation when I went to Manila for my interview- had a blast there, what with meeting Rosemary who was bound for Sydney that March then; Roslyn, Gavs and Rome for taking time out for fellowship in spite of your busy schedules; Jap for patiently accompanying me all through out

**May - I turned a year older and wiser!**In June we finally got hold of my case officer after months of trying to reach her. However she was totally clueless of my case, as she just inherited it from my previous case officer who got promoted. It was a blessing in disguise as she was sooo apologetic, the whole process was hastened in record time, thus my visa grant! Jones' trip

**July - my trip to Sydney to join my expectant husband. Need i say more? his birthday - I missed it but I hand carried my present - I should have captured the look on his face when he began reading the love letters I wrote as far back as 1999, years before I even met him.

**Had my first job interview - they skipped the tell me about yourself question, as most of my interviews were behavioral, with emphasis on skills/behaviors that are important to employers.

**Towards the end of Sept/early Oct, I got hired and worked - two days in two weeks, for a natural solutions and fertility clinic. The experience taught me that I didn't want to be people's first point of contact on the phone (hahaha! i had difficulty understanding the accent). I was trained on database admin, which made my job now so much easier because of that exposure - I wasn't happy with the boss wasting two weeks of my time, but i didn't realize till I got my present job that God was setting things up for the job and org that I wanted.

**Got a job offer from HfH in November, to which I gladly accepted. God has his ways of molding our character in more ways than we can see, especially when we are still in the situation

**Commeneced paid work in December, while giving hopes and building homes =)
discovered that my bosses pray (with a passion, I may add!)
two week paid work break
Christmas - what better time to talk about Jesus than on the commemoration of His birth! for some reason there is more freedom to openly share Jesus than on any other time of the year, in my opinion
Fe's Sydney visit - check out the photos! she has to come back tho since the 3 sisters in bluemountains left when we went - sometime in sept perhaps? for a wedding?
blessings and gifts

**My brother passed his exam, found his employer and is now getting ready to travel somewhere.

GOD IS GOOD - and ALL THE TIME HE IS GOOD!

Christmas 2007

Jones and I wish all our friends and families a Christmas full of joy and laughter and a New Year full of hope and great expectations!

We thank God for connecting our lives and for the great blessing that you have been to us. We thank Him for new friends that He continues to add to us, and old friends that we will forever be grateful for loving us.

God bless us all and our households!

UP Centennial Celebration in 2008

FYI: The UP CENTENNIAL CELEBRATION (100TH ANNIVERSARY) will be
this 2008. Be part of the celebration! For UP Cebu, please contact the OFFICE OF ALUMNI
AFFAIRS DENNIS MONTERA TEL. (6332) 2338202 for the SCHEDULE OF ACTIVITIES.
Souveniers such as CENTENNIAL TSHIRTS, KEY CHAIN, COLLAR PIN, CAR PLATE now available. FOR RESERVATION, contact UP CEbu Administrator and Batch '89 ALSIDRY SHARIF (6332) 2328187 OR email your batch coordinator. FOR EVERYBODYS INFORMATION, UP CEBU IS ONE OF THE CHOOSEN CENTENNIAL CAMPUS (read: LOTS OF RENOVATIONS AND INFRA PROJECTS) keeping my fingers crossed :p

November Gratitude Highlights

I was stalking Dian's blog when I run across her October Thank You List- and then I thought, why not make one myself? My November has been particularly eventful, all of which are made possible because of God's grace and blessings.

Each item deserve a write up of its own but I need to learn to be brief as I enter a new season. Here's my list, in NO particular order:

1. Gifts of Friendship - Thank God for friendships, old and new. Specifically, I thank God for:
*****Celia and her Sydney Visit. She came to stay with us - i have to say her cooking eased my home sickness. When she made nilaga, I had stomach upset afterwards because it was sooo delicious I didn't notice that I have eaten too much. Oh, and her adobo! Remind me to make one, if you like *winkz*
*****Penrith Visits. The Dardah family has been more than a blessing to us - seeing them is always a fond reminder of my hometown, Tago. And we met their good friends Mrs E and Chris as well. Laughter is a sure thing with them around.
*****my new online buddy Karen
*****my Brisbane-based friend Mana Lals aka Insomada whom I only "met" from our hometown website, but when she found out that I have moved in Sydney, she went out of her way to call and welcome me.
*****my new friend Caloy of Center for Volunteering , fellow UPian and new down under like myself, who shared and encouraged me about job hunting issues.
*****when we crave for authentic Indian dishes, Prag and Bhat invite us to their home
*****movie night with Bijit and Rose
*****Mana T's surprise call one evening

2. Our First Wedding Anniversary last November 9th. I can't believe it's been a year! It's funny because Prag called that day to congratulate us - I just said thanks and didn't wonder what for until after hehe! We were suppose to go to Hunter Valley but after a few wrong turns, we went back home - tired.

3. Gift of a Car. Hubby's friends and his first "second" family in Wollonggong practically gave us their green Volvo  so we have something to drive around.

4. Althea's Sutherland Visit. After four months in Sydney, she finally visited our southern suburb for a separate birthday celebration..oh, and the joy of meeting her flatmates, Angie and Mildred who turned out to be fellow Talamban residents back home.

5. Saturday morning family devotions time and Jones' quick prayers every time I rant about something - it encourages me knowing that my husband relies in a power beyond himself.

6. Job offer at HfH. I can't stop raving about God and his faithfulness. Joining this organization is a dream that I didn't know was possible. I got shortlisted but my experience was more than what they advertised for. I wasn't hired, and it really left me desolate. Three weeks after, the recruiter called me again if I was still interested. A position opened, which is close to my experience and one of the interviewers recommended me for the job - is she kidding? i would work for them for free! (but i didn't tell her that of course!) I am hired, pending a reference check. Oh, and did i say the second position is paid more than the first? God's delay is NOT necessarily denial, isn't it?

7. Monday Morning Cellgroup. It wasn't an easy decision because I wanted to go to Every Nation, which is just a few suburbs away. My husband feels that God is calling us to stay in Shirelive. Three months into my struggle, God spoke to me in two words: Trust Me. I felt that He also challenged me about being faithful to Him not because of my ministry affiliation but because of my relationship with Him.

I have always attended cell meetings since I moved here but I didn't feel like I connected with the people. Lest I paint a different picture, these girls are wonderful, but it wasn't until I joined the monday morning schedule that I really connected with them. The girls are between 29-45, could be older, but what draws me to them is their sincere desire to get to know God. They are so warm and animated who just love to worship and pray.

8. Provision for my siblings' studies. End of October and early november wasn't a very good time for my family. In spite of the lack, Joseph and Matet had a 4-day trip to Manila and tuition fee for their enrollment. Isn't God a faithful provider or what?

9. Gift of a Fantabulous Husband. I have never denied that I am a difficult person, but I never realize the extent until I moved in with my husband. There are times that I would have silent spells - times that I just refuse to talk - with no explanation, and it drives him nuts. What is worst, I expect him to leave me alone until I come around - which happens faster when I am ignored.

10. Gift of Family Relationships. I am blessed with wonderful in-laws. They always make an effort to communicate, even when I was still in Cebu, waiting for my visa.

I've never been closer to my parents and siblings, even with the distance that divides us.

How about you? What are you grateful for this month?

For Single Guys Only

Subtitle: How the Benjamites Got Their Wives
I had a very interesting Bible reading last night in Judges 21 - a whole chapter being devoted to a tribe who ran out of prospective wives for their men.

The account chronicles how the rest of the Israelites made an oath never to give their daughters in marriage to Benjamites. An awful crime was committed - gang rape which resulted to death on a Levite's concubine by men of Gibeah in Benjamin. When the Israelites confronted the Benjamites of the crime, their hearts were hardened and refused to listen - which resulted to war.

The Israelites won the battle, but they grieved for their Benjamite brothers. One time during an assembly when one tribe failed to show up, they devised a plan to give the virgins to the Benjamites as a peace offering.But still the women were not enough. The solution: in a festival in a tribe called Shiloh, they instructed the men to go and hide in the vineyards, watching the girls as they come out to dance. Then the men are to rush from their hiding place and seize a wife. v21 Should the girls' fathers and brothers complain, they will be assured of their innocence, since the girls are practically snatched from them.

Thus the issue was resolved - each man caught and carried off for himself a girl to be his wife, returned, rebuilt and settled in their inheritance.

Wouldn't it be nice to have the whole nation's support in the men's quest for a wife? And wouldn't it make things easier for men and women?

Here are some points that I learned out of that account:
**men chased women (this will get me in trouble hahaha)
**when they do, they have marriage in mind (I'm reminded of the sms that says: while waiting for the right person, play around with the wrong ones)
**the wives leave their parents/homes to be with their husbands to start a family

I don't know why I am writing for men, when it is my women friends who are more open about relationship issues. Truthfully, I don't know how God will do it - all I know is I am standing in faith with my friends who are believing God for a mate!

When I was back home, a common complaint among women is the shortage of men. I thought it was just a geography issue. Four months into a new country where I recently relocated, I discovered that the women are saying the same things - unless one will consider moving to the farms or the mining areas (mind you, there's plenty of money there hehe!)

Hmmm..how did I get here? I was just fascinated at how the Benjamites found their wives during a season of drought of the opposite sex. But then again, maybe I am half hoping that this will rouse the men into stepping up, maybe even learning from the Benjamites' example.

WhaT DoEs ThAt MaKe Me?

I wonder if I am doing the right thing at all.

There was once this person whom I thought was a friend of mine, only for me to conclude now, that it was sooo far from the truth. It is a pity that we can invest so much time, money and effort on a person only to realize that what you had was not real after all.

And I am not talking about a marriage relationship, but the more I think about it, the more I am lead to believe that the analogy applies as well.

Looking back, all I could see is, it had always been a one way thing. And isn't friendship, like most relationships a give and take thing?

It is weird because after this person said all sorts of nasty things to me via sms, after she said she will stay away and not talk to me, she could say hi to me as if nothing happened. It's not that I am holding any grudge against her, I don't. It is just that in human relationships, you can't just play with people and their emotions and treat them as if they are objects.

I don't think you can just leave without having to explain what caused the disappearance and expect things to be the same where you left them. To be honest, it made me think that maybe she needed something from me - a letter to draft, a plane ticket to charge to my credit card, time to listen to her gripes about life! Who knows what she needed! However, I am through with her being user-friendly (people who use others for their own benefit) and I have more important things to do than listen to her complaints.

For someone who place so much value on friendships, I am a bit surprised with myself. Afterall, I am one person who would do anything in my power as long as it is legal, for a friend. Maybe I am wrong. Maybe we were never really friends in the first place and I was just assuming that we were.

I am not sure if it is the right thing to do at all, afterall, we go to the same church. It will take a miracle for me to want to make friends with her at all. Thank God for the multiple services! Hehehe! It is not that I am avoiding her, I just have nothing to say to her. Most importantly, thank God He heals all wounds. In the meantime, let's just wait and see how the coming days unfold.

So, what does that make me?

Gifts of Friendship

Friendship is one of the most valuable wealth anyone can possess in a lifetime. Some friends come and go but the real ones stay forever.

While I was looking through a good topic to read in my devotional, I came across the issue of real friendship that led me to examine some of my own. It was really timely because I was just thinking about some of my relationships, how it has influenced and affected me as a person.

Someone said that a friend is a jewel that shines best in the darkness of misfortune. This reminded me of someone who dumped a friend because she felt that she was never really there for her when she needed her. Now the relationship is restored because that friend figured in an accident.

Sometimes it takes for accidents to happen for us to realize a person’s value. However what I realize is, sometimes people are not real friends to us, but if we are, no matter what we have said about a friendship, we will remain real and true to it.

I am personally blessed with a number of faithful and devoted friends who do not hesitate to tell me what I need to hear even when I don’t like what they have to say. These are friends that I may not always talk to but when we do get together, it is as if we were always around each other.

These are friendships that are not affected by social status, economy, time, money or distance, nor will it be enhanced by prestige and success.
At least the real ones.

But then again maybe people also outgrow certain friendships, and that doesn't necessarily make it a fake. I mean I can think of many friends that I haven't seen in a long time, only to see them years later with the so called friendship all seemingly dead. It is sad, but then, it is a fact of life.

Sometimes I have expectations on my friendships, and when they are not met, it could get really discouraging, and disappointing. I remember a time for instance when I thought I was really great friends with this person, only to find him making insensitive comments to me. And then there was this girl whom I have invested so much of myself to, only to hear about things she has to say about me. And I can go on and on.

I don't know if it is a universal truth but I just noticed that as I grow older, I have become very sensitive. I remember having an agreement with someone that if we didn't have anything nice to say to each other, then we will just shut up. When I heard those people who are supposedly my friends say not so nice things about me, I tend to shy away from them. It makes me ask if I am being over-sensitive or what?

Or maybe I am just confident of my real friendships that I don't mind losing the dicouraging ones..

Now let me catch some sleep!

PuRely mY SeNtImEnTs

A few years ago I discovered that I would be happiest when I work in organizations that seek to make a contribution in community development.

For me to actually resign from a well paying job in a universal bank seemed like madness that my own mother thought I was crazy to give it up so I can do something about with my newly discovered passion.

I don’t know…I just get a natural high knowing that what I am doing is making a contribution towards the betterment of the society.

For four years I have been pursuing a career in the non-profit industry and I can say it has it rewards. In fact I can go on to say that what I learned for eight years in the bank, I already did for a few months in my new industry.

I got to meet important, unassuming, down-to earth people who has no qualms about who they are or their stature in the society. Which is the exact opposite of my former boss!

Working in ngo’s as I said has its share of highs. And low’s depending on how you look at it. I remember organizing an event, and having to pick up the guest speaker on the day of the activity itself, host the program when we arrived at the venue, took pictures, and help facilitate one of the working groups during the breakout sessions. Whew! You would think I was superwoman! But I wasn’t and I am not. There was just no one else who was available to do it. There are other things too. But my point is, all these things all the more strengthened the joy I derive from such activities.

Mind you, I am a very hardworking person. I can spare myself of so many luxuries, be it time, money or what have you, just so I can deliver the expected results, as long as things are clearly laid down to me. I want to know my boundaries, I like to work in an environment where I am free to deliver certain objectives in such a way that I can freely choose certain options that I have laid out, unless of course there is a standard operating procedure that has been clearly discussed and understood prior to embarking on a project.

As a professional I hate to do anything that would put my integrity and reputation at stake. That is why it takes me forever to finish something that the way I see it, is not in line with what I believe and stand for. Sometimes I am too obedient, many times, too much for my own good. But anyone just has to ask me the right question to get the truth out of me.

As I said I always work with a passion, many times at my own expense just to get things done. But cross the line that will jeopardize what I stand for and I will be the first one to run.

I am so grateful for the many opportunities that my jobs since four years ago have brought me. I know that I have more things to learn. But for now, I know for certain that it is time for me to leave and venture in other career opportunities somewhere.

Who knows where God will be pleased to take me!

Me and My Big Mouth!

Love…the sensations it brings out of every individual. I am sure every person has a story to tell _ unrequited or otherwise.

I myself am no exception. Although it was not your usual girl-meets-boy story, it is a story nonetheless, and not just one but three at that.

So I am stubborn, can you tell? Or maybe not! Maybe I have learned to make a distinction between love and the one I loved.

I guess it is true what they say, that you don’t really plan to fall in love. That is, if you can call mine love stories at all.

It all started with X, a twenty-something something something (lol). For an engineer, he wrote in prose and poetry! And was I impressed! Maybe that made me ignore our age difference, or the religion factor. But then again maybe I was amazed that for the first time in my life someone didn’t find me intimidating at all. He actually thought I was sweet! :p Although he left because his Daddy thought I might not be able to keep up with his passions, I have to give him credit for being an obedient son, and for melting the ice for the very first time!

Y came into my life at a time when I was so wary of relationships. He rebuked me at one time for wanting to skin someone alive. He was a friend when I needed one. And boy, was he “there” for me. His passion for God, his music..they all warmed me up to him. It was a great feeling! And then our friendship took a different turn. Although it was a surprise, we both welcomed the change, at least I know I did..until he became busy with work…and life..and I was left shattered for the very first time.

And then there’s Z. If there’s anything that I will credit him for, it is his patience and his ability to make you feel like the most important person. After what we’ve been through, no one would think we would actually “kiss” and make up. And it was the single most amazing and sweetest thing to actually happen to me. I know I didn’t think it will take a different twist either. It is my second chance with him, and his fourth or fifth, as he calls it.

Like every story, chapter-by-chapter they just ended, often leaving me dazed. And many times, even if I didn’t want the story to end, I just had to close the book, for the sake of my own sanity! Hehehe!

To this day I have no inkling why they just disappeared. As for me, all I know is my #1 love language is quality time and a close #2 being words of affection. When those guys become too busy, my love tank goes empty, leaving me gasping for air.

Sometimes I still wonder how relationships can start out with so much fun and promise, you wouldn’t imagine it would end..At least I didn’t. But don’t take my words seriously, I am usually left clueless. Naiveté? Or just plain ignorance? Hahaha!!

Eitherway, I will love again. By then, it will be someone who will finally see what a great catch I am, and hopefully, he will stay..for life! . ;-)

DISCLAMER: I didn't really meet any of these guys in real life. They are all probably just a figment of my tired, overworked, underpaid, hopelessly romantic imagination! lol! peace guys!

Happy Parents’ Day

The one-day celebration dedicated to mothers and fathers every May and June respectively makes me wonder if it even begins to show the honor and respect parents deserve at all.

Even with the one-day each reserved for them, sometimes we still miss or is it blatantly ignore (?) such an important event. But is one day really sufficient? Or shouldn’t it be an everyday thing?

During last Sunday’s celebration service in church, my Pastor preached a very timely message on the 5th Commandment in Exodus 20:12 "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.

Let me briefly share the key points that has encouraged me from the preaching.

I can still hear my mother’s lectures on the importance of honoring parents based on the scripture. I know there are times that we don’t always feel like it, so why should we honor our parents then?

Three reasons why: 1) God requires it..yup, whether they deserve it or not..no matter what they are like; 2) God will reward it..Not only will we live long, we will also be rewarded with a good life (Eph 6:1) Afterall, what’s a good life for if it is spent in suffering? and 3) Children will repeat it. This one scared me. If the way I treat my parents now is the gauge of how my children will respond to me in the future, then I might as well do things correctly right now.

Like I said it, honoring parents is not always a piece of cake. The question is, is there a way parents to make it easy for kids to honor them?

Absolutely! 1) Love God passionately; and this doesn’t mean simply loving by words. More importantly, it is wholeheartedly serving God by example. When children see their parents’ genuine love for God in the way they live, there is no need for them to make any threats just so they will join then in church. 2) Love your espouse properly..Be practical.make it a habit to make the other happy. This comes very easy when #1 is a given. 3) Love your children equally. When parents play favorites, it is like a bomb waiting to explode.

How do we honor our parents then? 1) The life we live. Are we causing them problems? Or are we wise in handling our affairs? (Pr 23:24-25; Pr 10:1; Pr 15:20) 2) The love we give. (Pr 13:1) Do we take heed of their instructions? (Pr 12:1) Generally, parents will never do anything that will hurt us on purpose (Col 2:20, Eph 6:1) At times, the way they treat us is the best they know how. Who can blame them? Afterall, ther e is no school for parenting! 3)The listening ear we extend. As they give guidance (Deu 21:18) as they give discipline (Pr 6:20-23;Heb 12:7-11) and as they grow old (Pr 23:22)

Why did I decide to share this here? I seriously think we can pick a thing or two and apply them in our lives.

Isn’t it true how easy it is for us to take our parents for granted as we grow older? I thought this would be a fitting reminder for every sons and daughters to treat their parents well.

And while Father’s Day is on its way, I want to take this opportunity to thank my parents, Florencio Medrano Lumactod and Teresita Pagaran Clarit, for raising me and my siblings up the best way they can. They have always provided us with all our needs, sometimes beyond their ability. Not only did they teach us what honor means, they lived it as well.

But what will always stay as their greatest, single most important legacy in my life is having taught me about God and the fear of Him. For as long as I could remember, I knew there is a perfect God and I realized my inadequacies. Because of that knowledge, it was so easy for me to see my need of a personal relationship with Jesus and embrace Him as the Leader and Savior of my Life.

I am sure my siblings will agree with me when I say that given a wild opportunity to choose any parents that I would fancy, I would pick my Papa and Mama all over again.

Death and Taxes

Brad Pitt’s movie entitled “Meet Joe Black” spoke of two things that are certain in this world: Death and Taxes. I was so sure for a long time that it is only change that does not change. (haha! I almost confused myself there)

I brought up the issue of death for a change. Hehehe! Most of what is written in here is ramblings on love and relationships. I do have a different side.

Actually this is a breakaway from a topic, which I opened in a message board because of a rampant announcement of obituaries in my hometown. Death happens all the time. Like what some of the posters mentioned, it is a like a thief in the night. It comes when it is least expected. And it is no respecter of person either. It comes to us regardless of age, sex, race or status.

For years, it is a topic that very few people ever venture into. For most people, it is easier to shun the discussion of death, rather than confront it. But my feeling is, if it is so inevitable, it might as well be discussed and exposed rather than kept hidden deep within along with most of life’s questions.

Like most people, I wriggle out on the issue every chance I get. I felt that I was too young to even worry about it. I thought it is an issue that older people should worry about.

I must say I was still a teen when I was confronted with the reality of death. No, I was not in a near-death situation or anything, thank God! Someone was just bold enough to ask where I thought I would go if I died that day.

Of course I had no clue. For a long time I thought that if I don’t talk about death, then it will just go away. That day, for the first time, I had to give an answer to a question that I didn’t want to face.

Seeing that I almost turned pale and obviously groping for words, the lady sat next to me and explained some very important truths about death. Yes, it comes to anyone at any time. The good news, she said is that we can prepare for our departure from this life to the next. And when we do that, then there is nothing to be afraid.

She went on to point out that the very first step to becoming fearless of death is by making sure that I have set my relationship with God straight. She didn’t mean becoming religious. (that would have turned me off) She meant having a vibrant and active relationship with a living God. She referred to the Bible wherein Jesus challenged death when He said, where O Death is your sting, when he was raised from the grave after three days. That day I did not hesitate to make my preparations. I invited Jesus, not just to be there as He always is, but more importantly, to be the Savior and Leader of my life.

I will always look back to that monumental day of February 1990, because not only was I assured of eternal life, my many fears of life and death evaporated. The good thing is, it is not because of me, but because of what Jesus did for me, that I could be fearless of death.

When I die, I don’t want people to cry. I want them to rejoice because after a temporary stint here on earth, I will finally be united with my eternal groom, Jesus.

The Grass is Greener Somewhere Else?!?

The Filipino diaspora all around the globe is very common that I am almost certain that there is at least one member of every family who lives and works abroad.

I remember a time when my father went to California to settle the sale of a family property. I think he came back after over six months impressed and mesmerized with the US of A that I had a feeling he wanted to move all of us there.

I was a sophomore business student then, actively participating in rallies and other campus activities in an effort to point out errors committed by the government, and at the same time promote social awareness among fellow students and the Cebuano community. It was at that time when I could vividly remember the street chants that my father arrived from his trip.

While he was sharing his accolades, I can still recall how he looked when I dismissed him with a shrug. I was so convinced that if all the good people will leave, the corrupt will remain, and this nation will be reduced to utter ruin.

Don’t get me wrong, I never had anything against those who go abroad from the very start. I just didn’t think it was my path.

It was not until I became actively involved in my church  that I had a change of perspective. From day one, I was told to get a passport, among others. What with a vision to honor God and advance his Kingdom by making disciples, training leaders and planting churches in the Philippines, Asia and the world.

My myopic focus on my own little world had to leave as I started to look beyond. When I drafted my personal mission statement, I did not confine myself with what I can see. It included the world. Thus I can go anywhere, given a purpose worth pursuing.

Of course being able to help our family is a good one. This is often the reason why husbands or wives leave their families behind for greener pasture. I know of someone who works tirelessly just so he can help his dad and close relatives financially. I deeply admire his steadfast resolution at such a time as this.

However, I don’t think the provision is enough to justify being apart from your own family. I know of people whose children go astray because of absentee parents. Having money for the children's future is pointless if the children are already addicted to drugs, or alcohol or bad influence of friends. For me, money is not enough payment when I look at the price they have to pay for it.

If parents, or one of the parents plan to leave, I hope they include bringing the whole family along. When I get married, I don’t think I can afford to be away from my husband and children for over a week. How much more for years? It is just not healthy, not for the marriage, or for the children.

God's original design for the family is for them to be together, not apart, NOT even in the guise of making money for them.

On a personal note, my brothers will attest that I have already traveled the world if we are to talk about the countries that I planned to go to...I am a dreamer and I don't hesitate to talk about my dreams..( talk about someone who has a wedding plan with a minor hitch - no groom! hahaha) Wherever God will take me in the next couple of months, I hope it is somewhere where I will meet someone who will pay for my plan...bwahahaha! Seriously, (and there's no need to take me to the hospital) wherever that is, i know it is a place where I will fulfill God's purpose for me...and who knows...maybe even make some money!

The Wedding Plan

Jennifer Lopez in her movie the wedding planner alluded that if you can’t get wed, you might as well plan. While I don’t necessarily agree with the CAN’T part, I think there is nothing wrong with planning. And I don’t think it is being desperately in a rush either.

A book entitled THE PATH by Laurie Beth Jones talks about the elements of a compelling vision: it is written down, in the present tense, as if it has already been accomplished, and, filled with descriptive details anchored to reality.

I have friends who warned me though, that articulating and sharing your dreams; in this case a wedding plan, might halt the plans. (maybe something is brewing somewhere and I wasn’t in on the secret?!?hmmm…which is OK too..because it takes trust to open up to people..and I know I trust easily as well.) I on the other hand, believe in destiny. Even if you try so hard to keep something, or someone a secret, if it is not meant to progress anywhere, one person can try his best(est) to hide it, while another will broadcast it. Either way, I believe it will yield similar results. So why hide something that’s giving you the adrenalin rush, when you can share it with the world. *winkz winkz*

Ummm…any takers? Hahahaha!

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Nature seems to cooperate with Leah’s plans that summery day of September. This same day marks the beginning of the rest of her life with her dazzlingly handsome beau, David.

Wanting to celebrate differently, the couple set the wedding at the powdery, white sand beaches of Mactan Island in Cebu. The bride, clad in a hip and comfortable lilac outfit, beams radiantly. She looks exceedingly elegant in her get up, definitely a far call from the convention. A ravishing head turner, the groom looks immaculate in his apparel, exuding with so much ease and comfort on such a special day.

The invited guests come in throngs at around 3:30 p.m., obviously excited of the celebration that is about to take place. They braved the heat, coming a few minutes earlier expecting to be baked in the sun with the waves of the sea lashing against the shore. All dressed in white, as indicated in the invitation, the guests willingly obliged, with the bride and groom’s request.
The waiters served overflowing drinks ranging from juice to fruit punches to wine, upon the guests’ arrival and the ushers lead them to their assigned seats. Music from the deejay’s booth fill the air.

At 4:00 p.m. the wedding ceremony promptly starts, with Pastor Fernando Cunanan officiating. It is short and sweet, but the guests will remember the day as the best, exciting, most eccentric wedding they have ever attended.

As the program starts, the guests are treated to bountiful cocktails. And then the sponsors, their friends and families took turns in speaking encouragement and exhortation to the bride and groom. Some of the friends sang some of the couple’s favorites. There are friends who shared via live webcast. And then the couple stood up to honor their parents, friends and guests who took the time to spend such a very exceptionally festive event with them.

And that signals the performance of the live band that the couple hired for entertainment. Lots of dancing, abundant food and drinks, fun and frolic are the outstanding features of the celebration. Those who watch the whole celebration could only wish they came live. All the guests go home filled with joy for having shared such a very important moment for a dear friend like David and Leah.

ToRn BeTwEEn tWo LoVe(rS)

OK..Here I go again posting about my rants..This is MY blog after all, so I can do anything I want, right? Hehehe!

And I certainly didn’t write to engage in a harsh, accusatory criticism of any gender.

Anyhow, I know of two-timers who get into this kind of situation for cheap thrill and how they end up with nothing. Others get away with it. I also hear of hearts being badly beaten and broken. And I can go on and on to write about this but I wouldn’t want anyone reading this to get a bad impression on love and relationships.

I was a late bloomer when it comes to relationships. While I curiously got involved with someone during the later part of my senior high, it wasn’t until I was twenty-eight that I truly fell in love. And I have had my heart broken as well…But for someone who has been broken hearted three times, I have learned not only to cope with my broken heart, but more importantly getting restored, becoming whole, and learning to love again.

After that short escapade with curiosity, I was blest with the opportunity to meet Mr. Love, who taught me and gave me a much better picture and understanding of love relationships. Written in His Manual in 1Corintians 13, it says:

13:4 Love is patient, love is kind, it is not envious. Love does not brag, it is not puffed up. 13:5 It is not rude, it is not self-serving, it is not easily angered or resentful. 13:6 It is not glad about injustice, but rejoices in the truth. 13:7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 13:8 Love never ends.

So with that in mind, I loved with all of my heart, mind, soul and strength every single one of those three men, but not at the same time.

While I feared the idea of loving, I learned that real love covers over all fear. When I loved fearlessly, it was simply liberating. And I didn’t have to deal with what ifs, because I know that if the relationship didn’t work out in the end, I already did everything I can and there is nothing else I can do to save it.

Does it mean I stop loving them when the relationship ends? Someone very dear to me told me that love is a choice. I guess when you made the choice to love, choosing to stop loving is a very difficult process. But that’s part of healing. When you hear from this people and it doesn’t hurt you anymore, then you must have gotten over them. When you find out that they are happily seeing someone else and you are genuinely happy for them, then you must have learned to let go. When you no longer wish to skin them alive, or stay away from people of the same race and color, or country as they are, then you have finally recuperated. And then you can love again.

It sounds like a tall order, but it has worked for me. That’s why I can love freely after a heart breaking, earth shattering experience. None of the three relationships that I have been in left me completely torn to pieces. When I let go, I close every door in my heart to that person because my feeling is, if it didn’t work out once, after every possible intervention, what makes me think it can work out again?

That’s why I have never been torn between two people I love. And I don’t think I will ever be. Perhaps that’s the reason why it takes me awhile to move on, because I slowly unlearn every habit I associate with a person, and when I am through, I can honestly sing the song that goes: I am over you somehow, only love knows how, I’ve got the strength to move on!

My Story

i found this in a homepage i created a while back..i thought i'd share it here..i must have written this when i was sixteen going seventeen...hmmm..around my sister's age now..

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I used to be a very insecure person but I would try to hide that reality by putting up a front to the point that most people would think I was such a snob. I tried to do things for others - even things I did not want to do just to please them. In most of my attempts I would gain their acceptance, and I would feel good for a while. But there were also times that I would feel like I could not really measure up to their expectations - thus I would end up hating myself and the rest of the world. When I was in college, on my own and determined to rebel from all known authority in my life, a friend of mine invited me to a Rock and Roll Seminar. I wasn't really into rock music but when the speaker began explaining God's unconditional love and acceptance, it just got my attention.

In all my sixteen years of religiosity, I never really thought that God cared. After all, I had to do things for others, so why would God be any different? I had tried to excel in my studies, tried having a boyfriend, participating in school and community activities, and even strived to be a good daughter and a role model to my younger siblings but they never gave me the security that I needed. That night I met a different God! He thought I'm special - even before I did anything for Him. He died for me already, even before I knew Him. That same night, I prayed and asked Christ to forgive me for all the wrong things I did. Then I asked Him to come into my life, to lead me and give me the security that I had been looking for.

I began to see myself in a new perspective. I learned that God wants to give me a hope and a wonderful future. I have nothing to fear because He is in control. My confidence is no longer in myself or in others but in God alone. I have learned to love and forgive other people and myself. I am not as afraid to fail as I used to and I have found peace even in the midst of chaos. I have discovered that no relationship can ever be enough for me unless I have a personal relationship with God. Most importantly, I know that I am going to Heaven with God for eternity.

How about you? What are you holding on to for security? Is it your family? Your career? Your boyfriend/girlfriend? I tell you, they are bound to fail you at some point! Why don't you go directly to Jesus? He can give you all those things and more! If He can do it to someone like me, He can do it for you..!!!! Think about it!!!!

In Retrospect

Sometime not too long ago I was placed in a position wherein I had to assess how much value I place on myself. It was a little difficult since I have always been very highly opinionated– first, because I thought I was so good I could do anything, and then later on, because I couldn’t do anything right, I needed a power beyond myself. True enough, my relationship with Jesus solved the latter. It wasn’t because I was extraordinary that he accepted me, that I could freely talk to him or about him or that I can do something right. It is precisely because I saw that without Him, I couldn’t possibly amount to anything, much less do something.

Thus began my journey of freedom from insecurities and low self-image propelling my way towards a life of confidence just the way I am, and security because my Father in Heaven has a great plan and a beautiful future for me.

A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to talk to a very young and pretty girl about a situation that involved a relationship. I challenged her to see herself beyond the relationship, to allow herself to grow and mature into a woman of destiny. I talked to her about respect, how she should set the standard, and not allow the man in her life to determine how she should be treated.

It is funny how many young women close their eyes, playing blind to the way their men treat them, even if deep inside, they know that they deserve so much better.

I myself just got out of that situation. Three years ago, I met and became fast friends with a very interesting man. We would talk and laugh about anything and everything. His passion for God mesmerized me. His dedication to his work left me in utter admiration. His love for his family was simply wonderful. And little did I know that I was falling for him. Despite the distance and differences in background.

One apparent difference seems so unthinkable from the start. He is dark skinned and I live among people who equate beauty with fair complexion. But I have always had eccentric taste. So it did not matter to me. Because when he sang, it was as if the fairest of angels straight from the heavens serenaded me.

Who would think those times would end? I know I didn’t. While he was very busy working, I saw myself missing him more. Until I could no longer remember how he sounded. Until I have almost forgotten how he looked. Until I just cry myself to exhaustion.

It made me think of the kind of man I want to marry. Surely he will make time for me, no matter how busy he is. Surely he will make a way just so he can see me. Surely he will not get tired of my presence. And when we are older and the children are gone, we will still hold hands, kiss and hug, we will still sing together, and we wont get tired of talking to each other.

My talk with that girl challenged me to think about my own value and self-respect. It made me think of this man that I have long dreamed of waking up next to each morning for the rest of my life. That talk gave me the courage to let go of whatever hopes I have about our so-called relationship.

In the end, I knew I deserved better. And this time I will see myself through this. God did promise to be my strength in my times of weakness.

After all is said and done, I am still grateful that he became part of my life. I know that whatever happened is always for the best. And even if destiny is taking us to different directions, I am still glad for the memory that once in my life a beautiful person added a rainbow of colors to my semi-boring and dull existence.

This thing I know

...that he loves me so...Jesus blood never failed me..

So goes the last song at the Jars of Clay concert last night. I think it was a fitting finale for a night of full of wonder, awe and bewilderment for a pop rock band as famous as the Jars of Clay.

What is amazing about the group is that although they are famous in their genre having produced songs such as Lovesong for a Savior, unforgetful you, i need you and lonely people to name a few, they continue to glorify and honor their Creator through the gift of music. Take note how they mananged to come to the mainstream, not only gaining a faithful following among the christians but lovers of rock music as well.

As a christian birthed during the 90's, i had a taste of their lovely music from the very start. Of course I lost touch, considering that the song I am most familiar with from their line up was lonely people. I guess the lyrics spoke directly to me, thus it left a mark. (lol)

The concert was a success, no doubt. The crowd well behaved...well, except for the part wherein those at the back were "allowed" to go to the front despite the fence separating them. I wish I had a camera to show you how I jumped from one side to the other just so I can stay five steps away from them. Yes, we saw them up close, very good looking guys that they are.

It was a night well spent, and I will go down in the history as among those who watched and thoroughly enjoyed the Jars of Clay concert for the first time in the Philippines.

I got a Jars of Clay Ticket

Once there was a little girl who prayed to his Father above for a husband best suited for her.

The answer she got was wait..keep hoping..hold on to your dreams..and she waited, and hoped and held on to her dreams.

And then she prayed for a job, and after eight long years of anticipation, she got what she wanted, tho not exactly at the rate she deserved.

As she advanced in years, she learned that she can ask anything in the name of her Maker, and it will be given to her. But she thought ~~surely, it only happens to those who are religious~~ or ~~maybe to those who are extranice~~ or ~~if i asked for someone else, then maybe it can happen~~ And on she went with her life and her misconceptions.

One day, the Jars of Clay came to her city. Not that she had the money to go...she was saving for a Young Professionals Outing in Bohol, and the partial payment is due soon. So one night she decided to forego the concert. Besides she isn't very updated of their music. So why go?

Deep inside, she was bleeding. Most of her friends have tickets. She even booked for four of them.

God must have seen her secret misery. Out of the blue a call came. Free tickets to the Jars of Clay concert. Courtesy of a client. And it wasn't in exchange for virginity, as someone suggested. Just pure extraordinary blessing.

Sometimes when we think of God and his blessings, we can think of everyone else..Except us. Maybe when we deserve it. Maybe when we do more for him. But that is working opposite His Grace.

God's grace is his unmerited favor to his children. We think he will only give what we need, huh? I don't really need to go to the concert..But I wanted to. And I will. At no cost to me.

Isn't God amazing? Not only will he give concert tickets, he already gave up his life for all of us. It's up to us to invite him into our lives. From concert tickets, to healing, to that huge financial need. Including that husband the little girl prayed for herself. Oh yeah, even that job.

And we think he is too distant, he doesn't hear our prayers. Well, he does. Even prayers we don't articulate. I should know. I am that little girl.

My Lonely Valentine

Or was it?

I really thought I would crash. What with a loaded schedule weeks before that…a project that’s closing, which means pilot test left and right, training and a launching to organize. Good thing I work with very helpful people that really provided support all the way.

Aside from that, there’s a Young Professionals’ Valentine Activity, and a Holy Week Outing in barely six weeks. Initially I was assigned to host the party along with two others. I had to decline because I felt that I wouldn’t be as effective as I would have wanted to because of the stress and pressure at work.

As I kept telling friends, if Valentines Day wasn’t commercialized, I would have forgotten the occasion. And then of course I always thought that love should not just be highlighted every February 14th. It should be a daily lifestyle, that way when THE DATE comes, it should be something that comes naturally.

So, how did I spend my Valentine, you ask? Like I said I was seriously working. Then I went to that Valentine Activity with the Young Professionals from church. It was a very lively party, I must add. I requested this song by Daniel Beddingfield but I missed. I only got there at the third song, but it was fine. I had a sumptuous meal afterwards, and the friend we invited came and thoroughly enjoyed being there. The speaker discussed the principles of dating, which really boils down to encouraging the people to go out and date. But date responsibly. Date with a purpose. And date with God in the picture.

And armed with that knowledge, off we went to Crossroads for more music and singing at K1, or so we thought. When we got there it was so full. We had friends who were there ahead but we couldn’t cramp in their room because we wanted to sing as well. So my friends with me just decided to go someplace for coffee. So we chilled at Café Teatro, until about midnight when the bar owner approached us for drinks, on the house.

Well, we had so much fun there. We danced a lot…at least I did. And the music was so cool. My friends kept saying it was going to be our last song and then we leave. We finally mustered the courage to leave at 2:00 a.m. Whatta night..!

Lonely Valentine?!? Naaahhh…Hahaha! Not a chance!