I just realised that a lot of my decisions hinged on economic reasons. I know it sounds terrible, but let me explain -
A few years ago. I went to college with big plans to study law (I was reminded when I saw my highschool yearbook). However when I finished my business management degree and after I landed a job at a local bank, the "dream" was shelved, and being the eldest and having younger siblings, I probably thought I should be helping financially instead of having to keep studying - it just made more sense in my head.
When my husband and I decided that I should stay at home to look after our young babies three years ago, it was definitely because we found it more expensive if I kept working and get them to go to a childcare centre. I know a lot of friends whose kids are in childcare centre and I am glad it works for them. When we started calculating the cost - all overhead expenses related to it, and how much I was making, it seemed like I was going to work to pay for childcare because I would have been left with little. When we factored in a few other things like everyday joyful times less the frustrating bits, what stood out were the little stuff they did everyday and we couldn't even begin to assign a value to it because they are too priceless. Since then we just had to make some adjustments in the way we did family - with the help of Google search, I found out a way to make organic laundry powder. There was also a way to make a DIY laundry softener. I discovered that I did not need to compromise on some little luxury by finding a way to make a body wash just like my favourite brand or a body scrub that I really liked. These are some items that eat up a bulk of our groceries budget and by making them at home, it significantly lowered our expenses. Another thing that we learned to do was doing our washing and drying (if we must use the dryer that is),during off peak. When we look at the comparison rates of our energy bill, we can't help but notice that it has plateaud. We went to the park and beaches and wherever kids entertainment is free.
I also started researching on the homeschooling option. Many years ago before I even had a husband and kids, I started thinking about this option. Lately I thought the main reason I wanted to do it was because of fear of my kids getting bullied since they have exotic skin than usual. However when I started looking for schools and saw how expensive it costs, my true motive was exposed. Apart from believing in the benefits of homeschooling, I realised that it is the cost of private education that makes me want to pursue the later. I do know how to read and write and did units of competency in education so in my head I was thinking how hard can it be? My husband do not agree though. Not that he doesn't see the benefits but then is just not completely sold out. So I thought that maybe we will just send both kids to kindergarten together next year! Then we will save some money rather than paying so much for two days a week to preschool!
Not too long ago I did another career shift so I can go back to work. I thought that if I get to work nights then I won't have to make arrangements for the kids. It works really well and now I am beginning to think about where I may be headed and which direction I wanted to take. I am very grateful to be working in a dementia specific facility. The longer I have worked there the more I can say that I am really enjoying the job. I was recently challenged to go further and study. The question that comes to mind though is apart from the issue of calling and other important stuff, what will probably lead me to go into a full on study is finding out how much more I will make because already I am happy with what I am getting paid. (haha!)
I was chatting with some friends where I declared that I would probably not buy a brand new car even if I can afford it. I know how fast the value of cars depreciate and I can't justify it to myself how I would spend so much on something that I would probably only keep for a few years. In my mind, it is just not good stewardship of my finances. No offense to friends with brand new cars because a) don't mind me, I just couldn't afford it and b) the operative word on the previous sentence is MY. Unless, I get given a new one, then my chances of ever driving a new car is slim, because I centainly won't pay for it.
It is because of the same mindset on finances that we tithe. For those who do not know, it just means giving 10 per cent of my income to my local church. The reason we tithe as a family is mainly in obedience to God's Word. At the same time we did not want to be under a curse. We do it voluntarily and we are not under any compulsion and as much as possible we try to be joyful givers. Which is not all the time if I am being honest. But because it is an attitude, then we can talk ourselves to be joyful in giving even during hard times.What we find is, eventhough it is tempting to withhold our tithes and spend it on some legitimate and urgent matters like bills, when we go ahead and give anyway, we find finances coming in ways that we would never have thought of on our own. I find David's take in Psalm 37:25 very comforting - I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.
I suppose this is where I need to keep a balance. While counting the cost before taking a plunge is important, I hope it will not stop me from stepping out in faith especially when I feel that God is leading me into a certain direction. If you have read my previous entries, you would know how grateful we are for the many supernatural favours that we have the privilege of experiencing. I find it both a humbling and exhilarating position, one that we do not take lightly.
Sure you can call me pragmatic. But given the right balance (read: as long as I don't allow my natural tendencies to get in the way of God working supernaturally) then I won't even feel bad or apologise for it.
