December 25, 2004. This is one Christmas that I will never forget. No, it wasn’t because I didn’t have a human blanket. I have lived the last 31 Christmases of my life without one, so what else is new?
I spent my Christmas at the Island Paradise of Boracay. While I have so much to say about its being an island paradise, I will just leave it as it is for now, perhaps catch up on it in another one of my ramblings.
Going to Boracay was filled with expectations of lots of parties, action all over the place, and practically no time to sleep. Spending Christmas there was the complete opposite. Sure it was the beginning of the peak season..tourists, local and foreign, flocked the place in hordes but I must say it was really quiet. To think I stayed up in a cottage next to Summer Place, where there was a disco going on until 5:30 a.m. of December 25.
Most of those who danced at the Summer Place were foreign tourists. I can’t forget this motherly lady of around 55, who danced the night away, occasionally coming up to the ledge at the prodding of a younger generation that looks like her children. There were also local tourists who danced real well; that a left footed me got cold feet to muster any courage to go to the dance floor.
Instead, I stayed at the cottage and thanked God for all the blessings that 2004 has brought into my life. I specially thought of human blankets, and if I will ever be blessed to have one. Maybe next year? I thanked God anyway that if it pleases Him, he is able to provide me one at His will. I thank Him for the one person, that if human blankets are for sale, I would pick him without blinking an eyelash, but at the same time I told God, that I am open if ever he isn’t the one he meant for me. I would cry some, but I will get over it, because I know His will is always the best.
I would get up occasionally from my own little world, look at the crowd next to the cottage, even dance to some of the music. But it was still very cold.
And then I remember my parents and sister. Back in my hometown, spending Christmas by themselves, because my brothers couldn’t go home as planned. I also thought of Cebu, where my brothers were preparing for a celebration fit for thirty guests. To think there was only four of them left in the city.
I thought about my family…and someone I wanted to start a family with, and the wind felt really cold. It was as if it was berating me for spending Christmas in an island paradise, when the real paradise is there where your loved ones are.
Boracay is a beautiful place….but Christmas should be spent with families.
28.12.04
21.12.04
Merry Christmas
Hi all,
Just dropped by to say hi...and to greet ya all a very merry Christmas..!!
Christmas without Jesus is meaningless...afterall, he is the reason for this season!
Wish you all the best!
Just dropped by to say hi...and to greet ya all a very merry Christmas..!!
Christmas without Jesus is meaningless...afterall, he is the reason for this season!
Wish you all the best!
20.12.04
blog..blog..blog!
So I haven’t written in a long time….again! What kept me busy? I have no idea! Oh…wait..I was beating a deadline..The project that I am involved in for over a year now is ending soon..Oh yeah…I’ve talked about this before..Well, we’re still in a crisis mode. I pray that the people who gave their word will truly meet the deadline.
I also went home to visit my parents. My father complained since I haven’t been home for two years yet I only stayed for less than 48 hours…hehehe!!Busy career..duh! He said I should just stay with them and work on a business with them. Pretty tempting, I must say…but I do have my reasons..For one I don’t have a local church there..Most importantly, there is no market for me there…LOL!! He won’t read this anyway! Hahahaha!! Next year my sister will join us in Cebu for the uni. I don’t know if I will still be here with her by then..lol!
And the series of parties! It started on the 15th. Globe invited us at work for an event they call High Five! It was fun..The first of their many parties that I actually enjoyed..And then Abel’s b-day on the 16th….We stayed up until midnight just talking. And then Friday night….we didn’t party, but we were very busy packing our Christmas presents..Saturday lunch was our party at work…It was very laid back…plenty of food for all ten of us plus a few guests…there was sooo much left over it could have been worth a week’s meal…well..except that…*sigh*
I was part of a mini E.B. (read: eyeball) with FFF chatters. Except for the regulars, I got to meet a few others, one of whom happns to be a cousin of my first cousin. It was the first time I met her..I just heard of her..I thought the facts that she mentioned matched so I asked for her family name…and bingo! Small world..We parted ways with the FFF folks..all nine of us at around midnight, but I moved with some of them to another bar where there’s a live band playing to wait for some friends. We stayed there til one a.m. which was a little late since I didn’t finish my Christmas wrapping for our church party the next day. I couldn’t work when I got home so dozed off I went and put off the work on the table til very early morning…Grrr…we didn’t finish till 11 A.M. and had to rush to the 12 noon party..By the time the party was over, I was so beat. I attended the 4p.m. service really sleepy, it was a miracle I didn’t sleep through it.
When I got home at 7pm, I was so tired I hit the sack in record time. I woke up drowsy by 11:30 pm and still managed to balance my business books at 1AM.
Three more nights and I will wake up in the island paradise of boracay. I can’t wait to be there. In the meantime, I have to endure the boredom of coming to work without anything to do except, well, blog..hehehe!
I also went home to visit my parents. My father complained since I haven’t been home for two years yet I only stayed for less than 48 hours…hehehe!!Busy career..duh! He said I should just stay with them and work on a business with them. Pretty tempting, I must say…but I do have my reasons..For one I don’t have a local church there..Most importantly, there is no market for me there…LOL!! He won’t read this anyway! Hahahaha!! Next year my sister will join us in Cebu for the uni. I don’t know if I will still be here with her by then..lol!
And the series of parties! It started on the 15th. Globe invited us at work for an event they call High Five! It was fun..The first of their many parties that I actually enjoyed..And then Abel’s b-day on the 16th….We stayed up until midnight just talking. And then Friday night….we didn’t party, but we were very busy packing our Christmas presents..Saturday lunch was our party at work…It was very laid back…plenty of food for all ten of us plus a few guests…there was sooo much left over it could have been worth a week’s meal…well..except that…*sigh*
I was part of a mini E.B. (read: eyeball) with FFF chatters. Except for the regulars, I got to meet a few others, one of whom happns to be a cousin of my first cousin. It was the first time I met her..I just heard of her..I thought the facts that she mentioned matched so I asked for her family name…and bingo! Small world..We parted ways with the FFF folks..all nine of us at around midnight, but I moved with some of them to another bar where there’s a live band playing to wait for some friends. We stayed there til one a.m. which was a little late since I didn’t finish my Christmas wrapping for our church party the next day. I couldn’t work when I got home so dozed off I went and put off the work on the table til very early morning…Grrr…we didn’t finish till 11 A.M. and had to rush to the 12 noon party..By the time the party was over, I was so beat. I attended the 4p.m. service really sleepy, it was a miracle I didn’t sleep through it.
When I got home at 7pm, I was so tired I hit the sack in record time. I woke up drowsy by 11:30 pm and still managed to balance my business books at 1AM.
Three more nights and I will wake up in the island paradise of boracay. I can’t wait to be there. In the meantime, I have to endure the boredom of coming to work without anything to do except, well, blog..hehehe!
3.12.04
reaction
I have read Fr. Roy Cimagala's column, the December 3, 2004 article on the single-sex schools in Hints and Traces in The Freeman.
It reminded me of a professor who went to an exclusive school for boys. During one of his lectures, he talked about the importance of putting children in a natural environment, not some artificial situation wherein boys and girls are separated. He said something about the separation being not realistic, because it is not how we normally interact with people in real life. He mentioned that the artificial environment created for these children has stunted their social skills and ability to deal with those from the opposite sex. He exhorted us that if we ever have children in the future, we should enroll them in co-ed schools. And then he said something that blew our minds. He blurted, “Look what has become of me…”
My professor, a very well respected and competent practitioner in his field, he speaks different languages and has been schooled in excellent universities not just in the Philippines, but he also earned various scholarships in the USA and Spain to name the few that I know of. For the first time in the several semesters that I have been under him, he admitted his sexual preference that he is gay, which to his opinion, is largely affected by his exclusive school education.
While I do not have the statistics, we can make a random survey among exclusive schoolteachers on the lesbian and gay relationships in their institutions. But then again the students are probably discreet as it could be a ground for their expulsion.
I hope this is a factor that parents will consider when they think about their options on their children’s education.
It reminded me of a professor who went to an exclusive school for boys. During one of his lectures, he talked about the importance of putting children in a natural environment, not some artificial situation wherein boys and girls are separated. He said something about the separation being not realistic, because it is not how we normally interact with people in real life. He mentioned that the artificial environment created for these children has stunted their social skills and ability to deal with those from the opposite sex. He exhorted us that if we ever have children in the future, we should enroll them in co-ed schools. And then he said something that blew our minds. He blurted, “Look what has become of me…”
My professor, a very well respected and competent practitioner in his field, he speaks different languages and has been schooled in excellent universities not just in the Philippines, but he also earned various scholarships in the USA and Spain to name the few that I know of. For the first time in the several semesters that I have been under him, he admitted his sexual preference that he is gay, which to his opinion, is largely affected by his exclusive school education.
While I do not have the statistics, we can make a random survey among exclusive schoolteachers on the lesbian and gay relationships in their institutions. But then again the students are probably discreet as it could be a ground for their expulsion.
I hope this is a factor that parents will consider when they think about their options on their children’s education.
27.11.04
love letters
i was out of the office all day today. we had a pilot test for a project that took almost the whole day to finish. While waiting, i decided to read my Bible first in Obadiah and then the Book of Jonah. When I got to Jonah 2, i had to stop and meditate on it.
In that chapter Jonah was crying out about his griefs and laments before God.I thought it was a good chapter to start writing a loveletter from God to me.
If you have been following my blogs you would have known about my plan to write loveletters from God's heart to mine. Of course I said previously about wanting to write a book but we'll see...
So anyway, today I finally found time to begin this love letter writing project with God's passionate declaration of his committment and love to me. I love it..I know I still need to polish it and all but i am biased..hehehe!
So, have found a title, my dearest... love letters from God's heart to ours or something like that. I have also decided whom to dedicate it to and have already written some of the foreword....lol!
I am just excited..Maybe sometime next year I will already be going on a book tour..!! I know..pretty ambitious of me..I did watch before sunrise you know..who knows the one i have made a connection with might show up there..hehehe!
In that chapter Jonah was crying out about his griefs and laments before God.I thought it was a good chapter to start writing a loveletter from God to me.
If you have been following my blogs you would have known about my plan to write loveletters from God's heart to mine. Of course I said previously about wanting to write a book but we'll see...
So anyway, today I finally found time to begin this love letter writing project with God's passionate declaration of his committment and love to me. I love it..I know I still need to polish it and all but i am biased..hehehe!
So, have found a title, my dearest... love letters from God's heart to ours or something like that. I have also decided whom to dedicate it to and have already written some of the foreword....lol!
I am just excited..Maybe sometime next year I will already be going on a book tour..!! I know..pretty ambitious of me..I did watch before sunrise you know..who knows the one i have made a connection with might show up there..hehehe!
25.11.04
Wax it PRINCESS (?)
Not too long ago I mentioned about going into business armed with a formula that will surely revolutionize women’s perception of smooth, hairless skin!
Like I mentioned, my friend cum business partner and I have been using the formula for a while now, and true enough significant changes have occurred in our previous shaving lifestyle.
First of all, I am fair complexioned, thanks to the genetic heritage of my parents. But that in itself did not guarantee a flawless armpit, among others. While my mom didn’t have to worry about unwanted hairs, I had to shave at an early age, being a sleeveless fanatic that I am. However I had to make sure that I don’t show my armpit because it could be very embarrassing. After shaving for a long time, what we term as “chicken skin” seemed to grow and dark spots in the shaved area showed shamelessly. Not only that, I had to shave everyday, considering the fast growth in the very area where I would rather have them disappear.
I must admit it somehow affected my confidence. For a long time I wondered if there was someway to get rid of the problem, apart from the usual super expensive regimen. Wax it PRINCESS came as a manna from heaven!
Second of all, I have realized that the product is not just made for ladies. I remember watching a Mel Gibson movie called “What Women Want” wherein he actually used hot wax to remove body hair. Which led me to believe that Wax it PRINCESS is not only for ladies but for princes as well.
Last weekend, my youngest brother sent me sms informing me of his desire to have the wax tested on his facial hair. As an exemplary sister that my three brothers always fondly think me, I gladly applied the wax on him. Today, I can only wish I took his picture before and after the application so the difference could have been observed. I guess he will be glad to speak of his waxing experience, not because we are siblings, but because he saw a happy difference out of it.
After several consultation with friends, a conclusion has been made. The waxing experience should not be limited to ladies. Men can also avail of it. Thus the change of name. When we finally register our product with the department of trade and industry, we will call it:
HairFree
for smooth, hairless skin
In the meantime, you can already enjoy the wax in our test marketing stage. For inquiries, orders and demos (demos limited to Cebu residents only) please email me at hairfreecoldwax@gmail.com and I will get back to you in a flash.
Like I mentioned, my friend cum business partner and I have been using the formula for a while now, and true enough significant changes have occurred in our previous shaving lifestyle.
First of all, I am fair complexioned, thanks to the genetic heritage of my parents. But that in itself did not guarantee a flawless armpit, among others. While my mom didn’t have to worry about unwanted hairs, I had to shave at an early age, being a sleeveless fanatic that I am. However I had to make sure that I don’t show my armpit because it could be very embarrassing. After shaving for a long time, what we term as “chicken skin” seemed to grow and dark spots in the shaved area showed shamelessly. Not only that, I had to shave everyday, considering the fast growth in the very area where I would rather have them disappear.
I must admit it somehow affected my confidence. For a long time I wondered if there was someway to get rid of the problem, apart from the usual super expensive regimen. Wax it PRINCESS came as a manna from heaven!
Second of all, I have realized that the product is not just made for ladies. I remember watching a Mel Gibson movie called “What Women Want” wherein he actually used hot wax to remove body hair. Which led me to believe that Wax it PRINCESS is not only for ladies but for princes as well.
Last weekend, my youngest brother sent me sms informing me of his desire to have the wax tested on his facial hair. As an exemplary sister that my three brothers always fondly think me, I gladly applied the wax on him. Today, I can only wish I took his picture before and after the application so the difference could have been observed. I guess he will be glad to speak of his waxing experience, not because we are siblings, but because he saw a happy difference out of it.
After several consultation with friends, a conclusion has been made. The waxing experience should not be limited to ladies. Men can also avail of it. Thus the change of name. When we finally register our product with the department of trade and industry, we will call it:
HairFree
for smooth, hairless skin
In the meantime, you can already enjoy the wax in our test marketing stage. For inquiries, orders and demos (demos limited to Cebu residents only) please email me at hairfreecoldwax@gmail.com and I will get back to you in a flash.
22.11.04
it's been a while
Hi all..
I know it has been a while..I have been really busy as you can see from my last entry. I could have written a lot after that but I got busy with something. Oh yeah..if you have been reading my blogs, I would appreciate to hear from you. If you have been following the events of my life from here, sorry for the delayed entries, but I will try to update more often.
If you didn’t know by now, I took up and graduated (on time, if I may add, which is quite a feat at the school where I went to..lol!) with a degree in business management. Until the time I graduated, I was so clueless why I was in that course. I remember coming to college wanting to take up political science but was discouraged by my grand father since I might not want to pursue law later on..Maybe he had prophetic giftings because I decided on my first year in my undergraduate that I was just not cut for a law career. I thought at that time that I was too sweet to be a lawyer…lol. Anyway, that was how I ended up taking business management.
I was so ecstatic and deeply grateful to God when I landed a job in a bank after graduation. After a few years I got really bored that after years of seeking God, finally got a leading to join a non-profit organization. Two years after, I moved to a similar organization and has stayed there since.
Why am I writing about this again? My business course!! Yeah.. Two weeks ago, a friend of mine talked about going to business using this technology that we have been using for months now. We got into a partnership and is recently trying out our product among friends. So far it is going well. We plan to sit down and talk about it as soon as we can. Maybe even give it away as our Christmas gift to friends..hehehe!
Well, our business, called Wax it PRINCESS is a cold wax hair remover treatment..I will talk about this later on. This has been giving us sleepless night for the past weeks but hopefully things will stabilize soon.
Another thing is an upcoming trip. I can’t spill the details, but this much I can tell, I guess it is also giving me sleepless nights considering my excitement of the holiday season…believe me, it has nothing to do with the heart melter…lol! Tho it would have been a huge bonus if he comes along…but that is an entirely different topic.
I am planning to write a book..Big plans, I know..well, if you knew about my boss asking me regarding my plans next year and my blunt reply of planning to get married, then you would know that I am a dreamer and big dreams don’t scare me…(In the case of the marriage plans, I would have gladly asked someone, but I am still a Filipino by heart and a lady at that, and I wouldn’t give away the privilege of getting asked. Besides, I am not even sure about him..he has too much to prove..lol) Anyway, I read in the bookstore of a book about brokenness before God and how the Author wrote a loveletter from God based on a scripture.
What I plan to do is pick up from the same pattern and write a book of loveletters…From God to us..I am thinking of giving the title My dearest Princess or something like that..In private though, I will call it The LoveLetters You Never Wrote…dedicated to my one and only…and they are the following!!!! Hihihi! This will be my project for next year!
Finally, my work….All I can say is I can’t wait for December 23! Hehehe!
I know it has been a while..I have been really busy as you can see from my last entry. I could have written a lot after that but I got busy with something. Oh yeah..if you have been reading my blogs, I would appreciate to hear from you. If you have been following the events of my life from here, sorry for the delayed entries, but I will try to update more often.
If you didn’t know by now, I took up and graduated (on time, if I may add, which is quite a feat at the school where I went to..lol!) with a degree in business management. Until the time I graduated, I was so clueless why I was in that course. I remember coming to college wanting to take up political science but was discouraged by my grand father since I might not want to pursue law later on..Maybe he had prophetic giftings because I decided on my first year in my undergraduate that I was just not cut for a law career. I thought at that time that I was too sweet to be a lawyer…lol. Anyway, that was how I ended up taking business management.
I was so ecstatic and deeply grateful to God when I landed a job in a bank after graduation. After a few years I got really bored that after years of seeking God, finally got a leading to join a non-profit organization. Two years after, I moved to a similar organization and has stayed there since.
Why am I writing about this again? My business course!! Yeah.. Two weeks ago, a friend of mine talked about going to business using this technology that we have been using for months now. We got into a partnership and is recently trying out our product among friends. So far it is going well. We plan to sit down and talk about it as soon as we can. Maybe even give it away as our Christmas gift to friends..hehehe!
Well, our business, called Wax it PRINCESS is a cold wax hair remover treatment..I will talk about this later on. This has been giving us sleepless night for the past weeks but hopefully things will stabilize soon.
Another thing is an upcoming trip. I can’t spill the details, but this much I can tell, I guess it is also giving me sleepless nights considering my excitement of the holiday season…believe me, it has nothing to do with the heart melter…lol! Tho it would have been a huge bonus if he comes along…but that is an entirely different topic.
I am planning to write a book..Big plans, I know..well, if you knew about my boss asking me regarding my plans next year and my blunt reply of planning to get married, then you would know that I am a dreamer and big dreams don’t scare me…(In the case of the marriage plans, I would have gladly asked someone, but I am still a Filipino by heart and a lady at that, and I wouldn’t give away the privilege of getting asked. Besides, I am not even sure about him..he has too much to prove..lol) Anyway, I read in the bookstore of a book about brokenness before God and how the Author wrote a loveletter from God based on a scripture.
What I plan to do is pick up from the same pattern and write a book of loveletters…From God to us..I am thinking of giving the title My dearest Princess or something like that..In private though, I will call it The LoveLetters You Never Wrote…dedicated to my one and only…and they are the following!!!! Hihihi! This will be my project for next year!
Finally, my work….All I can say is I can’t wait for December 23! Hehehe!
28.10.04
if i were a piece of thread...
i would have long disintegrated..did i say thread? hehehe!
it's been really busy at work for me..what with our MAJOR anniversary celebration, project that is about to end and deadlines that have long expired and yet remained undone.
and then there are questions about career path..my work's relevance to my purpose, mission and vision in life and the question of whether or not I will eventually get married.
last night i had a brawl with myself due to weariness, loneliness and stress. sheezh whatta lethal combination plus of course add to that the above mentioned scenario and you will get an explosion.
well, i didn't at least not yet..but there are few things that add up to the questions that i have been asking myself. what is the relevance of english proficiency in my life that i had to attend that orientation earlier? of course the free lunch was a favor because i asked for it but what was my boss thinking? i guess i should call on a meeting with him already.hmm...
and i am writing this blog because i was asked to write another message for our souvenir program one more time at a very short notice. and yes, i am still in the office at 9:30 pm with nothing but a blank page on Microsoft Word staring back at me.
i need a life...hmmm...things would have been ok if there's a so called lovelife..but that is an entirely different story that deserves another blog.
it's been really busy at work for me..what with our MAJOR anniversary celebration, project that is about to end and deadlines that have long expired and yet remained undone.
and then there are questions about career path..my work's relevance to my purpose, mission and vision in life and the question of whether or not I will eventually get married.
last night i had a brawl with myself due to weariness, loneliness and stress. sheezh whatta lethal combination plus of course add to that the above mentioned scenario and you will get an explosion.
well, i didn't at least not yet..but there are few things that add up to the questions that i have been asking myself. what is the relevance of english proficiency in my life that i had to attend that orientation earlier? of course the free lunch was a favor because i asked for it but what was my boss thinking? i guess i should call on a meeting with him already.hmm...
and i am writing this blog because i was asked to write another message for our souvenir program one more time at a very short notice. and yes, i am still in the office at 9:30 pm with nothing but a blank page on Microsoft Word staring back at me.
i need a life...hmmm...things would have been ok if there's a so called lovelife..but that is an entirely different story that deserves another blog.
25.10.04
don't call me bAbY!
i have a confession to make...and don't ask for specifics because you won't get any...lol! i called someone baby when i messaged him sometime not too long ago.
well? you ask??? hahaha! don't hold your breath..it gave him goosebumps.
i wanted to put on a poor me mentality with that response...stop talking to him for as long as forever..bury him into oblivion..but on second thought, i said, "yeah right! like i can actually do it!" hihihi! besides it didn't look like a very christian thing to do, apart from being uncharacteristic of me.
at the risk of sounding too self confident, i know a lot of people would kill for me to give them my slightest attention..much more for me to call them baby!!! sheesh!
so after a thorough analysis, i decided to act in the opposite spirit and call him baby nonetheless! that would be fun, right? i can just imagine him cringe everytime i send him sms, email or even talk to him on the phone..lol!! baby...winkz winkz!
yeah, baby!!!!
well? you ask??? hahaha! don't hold your breath..it gave him goosebumps.
i wanted to put on a poor me mentality with that response...stop talking to him for as long as forever..bury him into oblivion..but on second thought, i said, "yeah right! like i can actually do it!" hihihi! besides it didn't look like a very christian thing to do, apart from being uncharacteristic of me.
at the risk of sounding too self confident, i know a lot of people would kill for me to give them my slightest attention..much more for me to call them baby!!! sheesh!
so after a thorough analysis, i decided to act in the opposite spirit and call him baby nonetheless! that would be fun, right? i can just imagine him cringe everytime i send him sms, email or even talk to him on the phone..lol!! baby...winkz winkz!
yeah, baby!!!!
16.10.04
who's it gonna be??
..feeling lost, sad and mad at the same time...but wanting to write about love again...hehehe!!
if you were in a situation wherein you have to choose between the one you love or the one who loves you..who would you go for??
it is a very complicated situation tho not necessarily mine ~winkz winkz~ but i want to write about it nonetheless.
let's say here's this guy with whom you are VERY crazy about, you think you will cease living without him. of course you are aware that the chances of you having him all for yourself for the rest of your life is very slim...almost like one in every one zillion...different priorities, among others, but you take the risk anyway...after all, life without him is almost not living.
and then there's this guy, the sweetest thing..always available for you..would even do anything just to let you know that you are the most important person on earth..
any rational being would probably choose the latter. but whoever said the heart is rational? anyone who has loved will agree with me when i say that the heart always has a mind of its own. sometimes it is clearly not helpful...or even healthy, but you go ahead and follow your heart anyway.
however, all things being equal, given time and a slim chance i have a feeling Mr. Sweet Thing will catch up, and even capture a maiden's heart.
afterall, what lady in her right mind would go on chasing someone who doesn't even show interest on her? and what lady would not melt at a guy who makes her feel special in every respect? what lady would not be blown away when a Mr. Sweet Thing comes her way?
now back to the original question...the one you love? or the one who loves you?
the heart has soooo much explaining to do!!
if you were in a situation wherein you have to choose between the one you love or the one who loves you..who would you go for??
it is a very complicated situation tho not necessarily mine ~winkz winkz~ but i want to write about it nonetheless.
let's say here's this guy with whom you are VERY crazy about, you think you will cease living without him. of course you are aware that the chances of you having him all for yourself for the rest of your life is very slim...almost like one in every one zillion...different priorities, among others, but you take the risk anyway...after all, life without him is almost not living.
and then there's this guy, the sweetest thing..always available for you..would even do anything just to let you know that you are the most important person on earth..
any rational being would probably choose the latter. but whoever said the heart is rational? anyone who has loved will agree with me when i say that the heart always has a mind of its own. sometimes it is clearly not helpful...or even healthy, but you go ahead and follow your heart anyway.
however, all things being equal, given time and a slim chance i have a feeling Mr. Sweet Thing will catch up, and even capture a maiden's heart.
afterall, what lady in her right mind would go on chasing someone who doesn't even show interest on her? and what lady would not melt at a guy who makes her feel special in every respect? what lady would not be blown away when a Mr. Sweet Thing comes her way?
now back to the original question...the one you love? or the one who loves you?
the heart has soooo much explaining to do!!
chona mae's resignation..
after a month of avidly following chona in the city, it is very sad to note that her author Francis decided to end her existence today..
it is a loss to many fans, but perhaps it is plenty of time added to their productivity at work since there's no more blogs to scan...i am speaking for myself of course..
goodbye chona mae...thank you francis for the entertainment during dreary times at work..it was good while it lasted. and like many good things, it may have ended but the memories will always linger..
sheezh!
it is a loss to many fans, but perhaps it is plenty of time added to their productivity at work since there's no more blogs to scan...i am speaking for myself of course..
goodbye chona mae...thank you francis for the entertainment during dreary times at work..it was good while it lasted. and like many good things, it may have ended but the memories will always linger..
sheezh!
it is an overwhelmingly sad day....
...today!
we had a project review at work which actually made the project team as well as the ever helpful project officer from our funding agency help us see how far behind we really are from the project workplan.
problems that we did not see in the beginning are coming up and a back up plan is in the works. i am very sad because it entails a lot more work to the load that i am already in...the thought of it is just so overwhelmingly heavy it makes me cry inside..
God help me meet the deadlines. sometimes it makes me ask if this is actually what i want to do in the long run..
truthfully my job is pretty exciting and it has uncovered talents that i would otherwise not be given an opportunity if i was in another organization. however i feel so stretched to the limits that it is beginning to look like all this efforts is not really what matters in light of my lifelong dreams, ambition, mission and vision.
Lord give me strength and encouragement in this otherwise heavy day!
we had a project review at work which actually made the project team as well as the ever helpful project officer from our funding agency help us see how far behind we really are from the project workplan.
problems that we did not see in the beginning are coming up and a back up plan is in the works. i am very sad because it entails a lot more work to the load that i am already in...the thought of it is just so overwhelmingly heavy it makes me cry inside..
God help me meet the deadlines. sometimes it makes me ask if this is actually what i want to do in the long run..
truthfully my job is pretty exciting and it has uncovered talents that i would otherwise not be given an opportunity if i was in another organization. however i feel so stretched to the limits that it is beginning to look like all this efforts is not really what matters in light of my lifelong dreams, ambition, mission and vision.
Lord give me strength and encouragement in this otherwise heavy day!
5.10.04
love....a battle??
or is it really?
now, seriously i am not lovestruck, as you probably already suspect at this post! it just so happen to be a topic that i am very passionate about...well, among other things! lol!!!
a movie i recently watched had that song on its soundtrack. I copied part of the lyrics below:
We are young, heartache to heartache we stand
No promises, no demands
Love is a battlefield
We are strong, no one can tell us we’re wrong
Searchin’ our hearts for so long, both of us knowing
Love is a battlefield
You’re beggin’ me to go, you’re makin’ me stay
Why do you hurt me so bad?
It would help me to know
Do I stand in your way, or am I the best thing you’ve had?
Believe me, believe me, I can’t tell you why
But I’m trapped by your love, and I’m chained to your side
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
all of us have battles to fight at some point in our lives. hearing that song made me shake my head in disagreement.
battles mostly have negative connotation to me - battles with this or that disease, battles against corruption, poverty or terrorism, to name a few. unless of cours we are referring to the battle of the brainless, then it should elicit a lot of laughter in the beginning. of course it can be sickening when we get too much of it. then that's already the negative part of it.
but love??? a battle?!?? somehow i find that idea difficult to reconcile with my usual idea of battles. perhaps because i am a self-confessed hopeless romantic, i want all love stories to have a happy ending. to my myopic brain, battles in love must refer only to heartaches..afterall that's the messy part!
but then again happy endings don't just happen overnight. it involves a lot of risk assessment and mega-compromise.
in a conference i recently attended, the speaker mentioned the four pillars of relationships being trust, love, communication and forgiveness.
and each pillar could fill an entirely different blog but...trust is basically the foundation of relationships, love the motive and communication the process..and forgiveness? it is the thread that restores.
by simply looking at those pillars, it makes me think how much hard work is required for a love to stand.
i will maintain my CLAIM at me being un-lovestruck, but this musings just made me think that maybe...just maybe love is a battlefield afterall. lol!
anyhow.....if only my boss will let me write abt my rants instead of those press releases, my life wouldn't have to be a battlefield...hehehe!
now, seriously i am not lovestruck, as you probably already suspect at this post! it just so happen to be a topic that i am very passionate about...well, among other things! lol!!!
a movie i recently watched had that song on its soundtrack. I copied part of the lyrics below:
We are young, heartache to heartache we stand
No promises, no demands
Love is a battlefield
We are strong, no one can tell us we’re wrong
Searchin’ our hearts for so long, both of us knowing
Love is a battlefield
You’re beggin’ me to go, you’re makin’ me stay
Why do you hurt me so bad?
It would help me to know
Do I stand in your way, or am I the best thing you’ve had?
Believe me, believe me, I can’t tell you why
But I’m trapped by your love, and I’m chained to your side
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
all of us have battles to fight at some point in our lives. hearing that song made me shake my head in disagreement.
battles mostly have negative connotation to me - battles with this or that disease, battles against corruption, poverty or terrorism, to name a few. unless of cours we are referring to the battle of the brainless, then it should elicit a lot of laughter in the beginning. of course it can be sickening when we get too much of it. then that's already the negative part of it.
but love??? a battle?!?? somehow i find that idea difficult to reconcile with my usual idea of battles. perhaps because i am a self-confessed hopeless romantic, i want all love stories to have a happy ending. to my myopic brain, battles in love must refer only to heartaches..afterall that's the messy part!
but then again happy endings don't just happen overnight. it involves a lot of risk assessment and mega-compromise.
in a conference i recently attended, the speaker mentioned the four pillars of relationships being trust, love, communication and forgiveness.
and each pillar could fill an entirely different blog but...trust is basically the foundation of relationships, love the motive and communication the process..and forgiveness? it is the thread that restores.
by simply looking at those pillars, it makes me think how much hard work is required for a love to stand.
i will maintain my CLAIM at me being un-lovestruck, but this musings just made me think that maybe...just maybe love is a battlefield afterall. lol!
anyhow.....if only my boss will let me write abt my rants instead of those press releases, my life wouldn't have to be a battlefield...hehehe!
1.10.04
disclaimer..., etc!
P.S. The amazing love story is not mine, as those who know me can tell, but i do wish to one day write something about my own.
It is written with permission of one party concerned. Hopefully the dashing and debonnaire young man will make comments. Or the dazzlingly gorgeous lady will one day read it so I can get feedback.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MY THOUGHTS
wasn't it a lovely story? indeed there is a beautiful prize in waiting.
sometimes in my own life i tend to miss out because it is always easier to trust when you can see something...or in this case, someone tangible! but then again FAITH is the substance of things HOPED for and the evidence of what is NOT seen!
how easier it is to grumble and complain rather than pray and wait! and God won't be upset if we keep asking over and over again! the parable of the persistent widow comes to mind because she kept knocking at the wicked judge' door for justice. so many times the judge ignored here but later on he gave in because he was too exasperated with the woman..the story went on to say that our Father in Heaven cares soooo much more!
but why are we (OK...I) quick to seek the way that is easy rather wait for HIS set time?? Did he not promise that everything will be beautiful in HIS TIME??
Indeed everything will be perfect! And I really have very limited choices, don't I? Either I believe in the creator of heaven and earth who has not failed to show his faithfulness to me? or I will keep focusing on the circumstances around me?
Hmmm...Which one will it be? I think I can be much smarter than I actually give myself credit for!
It is written with permission of one party concerned. Hopefully the dashing and debonnaire young man will make comments. Or the dazzlingly gorgeous lady will one day read it so I can get feedback.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MY THOUGHTS
wasn't it a lovely story? indeed there is a beautiful prize in waiting.
sometimes in my own life i tend to miss out because it is always easier to trust when you can see something...or in this case, someone tangible! but then again FAITH is the substance of things HOPED for and the evidence of what is NOT seen!
how easier it is to grumble and complain rather than pray and wait! and God won't be upset if we keep asking over and over again! the parable of the persistent widow comes to mind because she kept knocking at the wicked judge' door for justice. so many times the judge ignored here but later on he gave in because he was too exasperated with the woman..the story went on to say that our Father in Heaven cares soooo much more!
but why are we (OK...I) quick to seek the way that is easy rather wait for HIS set time?? Did he not promise that everything will be beautiful in HIS TIME??
Indeed everything will be perfect! And I really have very limited choices, don't I? Either I believe in the creator of heaven and earth who has not failed to show his faithfulness to me? or I will keep focusing on the circumstances around me?
Hmmm...Which one will it be? I think I can be much smarter than I actually give myself credit for!
30.9.04
an amazing love story!
once upon a time, there lived a man who was eagerly looking for a bride.
he got out of a relationship because of some heartbreaking reasons. he loved this girl, but he knew he can't live the rest of his life with her. he knew he had to forgive, but he also knew he had to isolate himself and stay away from her for a time, because he didn't want to change his mind.
even with a failed relationship, this young man's desire for a wife did not go away. he laid down his cries before his God, with whom he has an intimate, vibrant and growing relationship. everyday he cried before his maker until one day as fate would have it, heaven's doors opened and heard his prayers.
it turned out that as early as seven years ago God already heard this young man's prayers through a gorgeous girl from his church!!! Although they never talked then, still they recognize each other being from the same fellowship.
two years later he left the fellowship.
you would think it was the end of the story...thank God it did not end there!
four years ago, he was finally formally introduced to her by a mutual friend. tho he liked her, they did not exchanged phone numbers and he didn't do anything about it. plus he was in a relationship so he pretty much didn't think about her.
as the heavens would have it, the girl's younger sister is in this young man's new fellowship!!!! whenever they have special activities, the gorgeous lass would visit and they would exchange the usual hellos!...but still nothing!
the girl's older brother is also a good friend of the young man, but they hardly have time to talk anyhow...until one day, he just felt the urge to see the older brother.!
that day she was not suppose to be in town, but instead of the brother, he found her!! when he entered the house, he just felt all of heaven shouting in unison that she's the ONE!
she did not see him enter the house, and he was too dumbfounded to say anything, so he just stood there for four or five minutes until he finally called her. All the while she was unaware that someone was watching her. she got up surprised, walked up to him and gave him a very tight hug.
the world stopped revolving and all of heaven sounded their trumpets in celebration. chemistry just flew from two directions!!!!
after so much prayer, the young man proposed..and with equal fervor and fervency, the lass gladly accepted and a happy ever after is on the way!
he got out of a relationship because of some heartbreaking reasons. he loved this girl, but he knew he can't live the rest of his life with her. he knew he had to forgive, but he also knew he had to isolate himself and stay away from her for a time, because he didn't want to change his mind.
even with a failed relationship, this young man's desire for a wife did not go away. he laid down his cries before his God, with whom he has an intimate, vibrant and growing relationship. everyday he cried before his maker until one day as fate would have it, heaven's doors opened and heard his prayers.
it turned out that as early as seven years ago God already heard this young man's prayers through a gorgeous girl from his church!!! Although they never talked then, still they recognize each other being from the same fellowship.
two years later he left the fellowship.
you would think it was the end of the story...thank God it did not end there!
four years ago, he was finally formally introduced to her by a mutual friend. tho he liked her, they did not exchanged phone numbers and he didn't do anything about it. plus he was in a relationship so he pretty much didn't think about her.
as the heavens would have it, the girl's younger sister is in this young man's new fellowship!!!! whenever they have special activities, the gorgeous lass would visit and they would exchange the usual hellos!...but still nothing!
the girl's older brother is also a good friend of the young man, but they hardly have time to talk anyhow...until one day, he just felt the urge to see the older brother.!
that day she was not suppose to be in town, but instead of the brother, he found her!! when he entered the house, he just felt all of heaven shouting in unison that she's the ONE!
she did not see him enter the house, and he was too dumbfounded to say anything, so he just stood there for four or five minutes until he finally called her. All the while she was unaware that someone was watching her. she got up surprised, walked up to him and gave him a very tight hug.
the world stopped revolving and all of heaven sounded their trumpets in celebration. chemistry just flew from two directions!!!!
after so much prayer, the young man proposed..and with equal fervor and fervency, the lass gladly accepted and a happy ever after is on the way!
28.9.04
i gave up...
...my monday to friday two-hour tutorials since sept 27.
it's sad, but i am left with no choice, really! The 11-year old girl, Kelly, called me up. She practically begged me to stay. In a way I am glad that their mom finally has time for them. Though on the other hand I am sad because I won't be seeing them. And I will miss seeing their youngest 3-year old brother William, with whom I have a huge crush on! lol!
i learned so many things from that 6-week experience.
when i grow up and have children of my own, I promise to:
> make time for them
>i will be a mother and friend to them
>i will get to know them
>i won't leave them to the care of the maids
>i will personally be there for them
>i will personally tutor them (or homeschool them..hmmm..)
NOW...where's that man that I will have the pleasure of co-laboring with? ~winkz~
it's sad, but i am left with no choice, really! The 11-year old girl, Kelly, called me up. She practically begged me to stay. In a way I am glad that their mom finally has time for them. Though on the other hand I am sad because I won't be seeing them. And I will miss seeing their youngest 3-year old brother William, with whom I have a huge crush on! lol!
i learned so many things from that 6-week experience.
when i grow up and have children of my own, I promise to:
> make time for them
>i will be a mother and friend to them
>i will get to know them
>i won't leave them to the care of the maids
>i will personally be there for them
>i will personally tutor them (or homeschool them..hmmm..)
NOW...where's that man that I will have the pleasure of co-laboring with? ~winkz~
27.9.04
my two cents
Whatta Sunday afternoon.!! Pretty interesting!!
Having lived a semi-boring existence for a while, a diversion from the usual routine is always a welcome change.
After a powerful meeting that Sunday afternoon, I went back on an eating binge with my girlfriends. Some guys tagged along but they had to move to a different place because they didn’t find the ambiance too inviting for their famished appetites.
My friend Joyce and I were supposed to go home but how we ended up in Bo’s Coffee with Cornell and Philip remains a mystery. (lol!)
The most interesting part of that Sunday afternoon conversation was the confession about the men’s perception of the women in church. (there were other things, but it is censored) It seems that they are under the impression that the women thinks the men are not good enough for them.
….which I found very disturbing, really!
Because the impression is sooo wrong! The men in church are fine. They are very passionate about their relationship with God and just as passionate about discipleship, among others.
It is a pity that they view the women that way. No wonder they hardly speak to us apart from topics such as church, ministry and cellgroup..Hehe!
Are the women really that scary? Or do they just need to be stronger?
Just my two cents.
Having lived a semi-boring existence for a while, a diversion from the usual routine is always a welcome change.
After a powerful meeting that Sunday afternoon, I went back on an eating binge with my girlfriends. Some guys tagged along but they had to move to a different place because they didn’t find the ambiance too inviting for their famished appetites.
My friend Joyce and I were supposed to go home but how we ended up in Bo’s Coffee with Cornell and Philip remains a mystery. (lol!)
The most interesting part of that Sunday afternoon conversation was the confession about the men’s perception of the women in church. (there were other things, but it is censored) It seems that they are under the impression that the women thinks the men are not good enough for them.
….which I found very disturbing, really!
Because the impression is sooo wrong! The men in church are fine. They are very passionate about their relationship with God and just as passionate about discipleship, among others.
It is a pity that they view the women that way. No wonder they hardly speak to us apart from topics such as church, ministry and cellgroup..Hehe!
Are the women really that scary? Or do they just need to be stronger?
Just my two cents.
26.9.04
an eventful weekend
well..not really in the true sense of the word but there was a part that really tickled me..
my saturday was very lazy! i woke up late and came to work only in the afternoon, in time for a meeting, only to be informed that only two are coming....Ohhh God...there goes the pre-pilot test.I hope to be able to recover today.
i was bored all afternoon i was able to write two blogs...lol! and then my cousin was trying to contact me because she needs to get something from the house, which is a whooping 45 min ride from the city. before that i agreed to a movie date with roslyn and rhea.
of course i had a major dilemna, which spells 90 min spent on the road if i had to go home and come back for that movie. to solve the problem, i decided to cook adobo for dinner and invite my friends to go home with me. and then we can always catch BOURNE SUPREMACY at a nearby theater, which we did, but at the ayala mall instead, which is a little farther than the original plan, but definitely soooo much better.
sunday morning was spent in church. it was a long ride because of the re-routing of the public transportation due to a construction. but i got to the service on time.
pastor bob perry, an american prayer warrior from Nashville, Tennessee came to visit the cebu church. what is interesting is that since he first came to the phillipines, he had always wanted to come to cebu...finally after 20 years, he came.
he preached about developing a heart after God and mentioned the characters of Mary, Martha and Lazarus...I was really tickled because I know that i just wrote abt my need to be a balance between Martha and Mary in a previous blog. And then at the leaders meeting in the afternoon, he taught abt praying for leaders and quoted Is 61:1-2
boy, was i thrilled!!!! it was a very exhilirating experience, because maybe, after all my inadequacies, God still speakes to me. truly he is not like us, who gets tired of people, and gives up on them. he is the God of heavens who is stubbornly crazy about me...!!!
i must confess i ate lunch twice that sunday...one right after the service, and then after the meeting...lol!
the rest of the afternoon can cover an entirely different topic.
my saturday was very lazy! i woke up late and came to work only in the afternoon, in time for a meeting, only to be informed that only two are coming....Ohhh God...there goes the pre-pilot test.I hope to be able to recover today.
i was bored all afternoon i was able to write two blogs...lol! and then my cousin was trying to contact me because she needs to get something from the house, which is a whooping 45 min ride from the city. before that i agreed to a movie date with roslyn and rhea.
of course i had a major dilemna, which spells 90 min spent on the road if i had to go home and come back for that movie. to solve the problem, i decided to cook adobo for dinner and invite my friends to go home with me. and then we can always catch BOURNE SUPREMACY at a nearby theater, which we did, but at the ayala mall instead, which is a little farther than the original plan, but definitely soooo much better.
sunday morning was spent in church. it was a long ride because of the re-routing of the public transportation due to a construction. but i got to the service on time.
pastor bob perry, an american prayer warrior from Nashville, Tennessee came to visit the cebu church. what is interesting is that since he first came to the phillipines, he had always wanted to come to cebu...finally after 20 years, he came.
he preached about developing a heart after God and mentioned the characters of Mary, Martha and Lazarus...I was really tickled because I know that i just wrote abt my need to be a balance between Martha and Mary in a previous blog. And then at the leaders meeting in the afternoon, he taught abt praying for leaders and quoted Is 61:1-2
boy, was i thrilled!!!! it was a very exhilirating experience, because maybe, after all my inadequacies, God still speakes to me. truly he is not like us, who gets tired of people, and gives up on them. he is the God of heavens who is stubbornly crazy about me...!!!
i must confess i ate lunch twice that sunday...one right after the service, and then after the meeting...lol!
the rest of the afternoon can cover an entirely different topic.
25.9.04
sheezh!
sometimes I just need to write to get out of a bad mood….a bad day …or even a broken heart.
for instance, over a month ago, I was in the middle of a very heartbreaking situation…but I was too busy to notice or even cry over it. likewise the circumstances surrounding the event placed me in no position to grieve…first because I thought that it is a fact of life….people come and go and second because it was the right thing to do.
but after a while, the pain that you have so long hidden into oblivion catches up with you. in my case, I just had to cry…the few friends who knew saw me suffer in silence, yet nothing can be done. it was just a hopeless, helpless situation.
and then by some miracles from heaven, something comes up…a WORD… an EMAIL…. even a single SMS…I knew I had to get up…I knew I had to get back on track. and so I typed my feelings away, baring my soul…and without doubt revealing my heart. the ice melted…over and over again until the water just ran out and I am back in the dry land again.
no situation is too hopeless or helpless that healing cannot touch. sometimes you end up with nothing or no one in the end, yet your soul is back to life. for others that much awaited, long needed talk happens and things become clearer and the sun shines brighter.
either way u grow…become so much better that u were yesterday…and with that growth comes the most awaited joy of walking in freedom.
for instance, over a month ago, I was in the middle of a very heartbreaking situation…but I was too busy to notice or even cry over it. likewise the circumstances surrounding the event placed me in no position to grieve…first because I thought that it is a fact of life….people come and go and second because it was the right thing to do.
but after a while, the pain that you have so long hidden into oblivion catches up with you. in my case, I just had to cry…the few friends who knew saw me suffer in silence, yet nothing can be done. it was just a hopeless, helpless situation.
and then by some miracles from heaven, something comes up…a WORD… an EMAIL…. even a single SMS…I knew I had to get up…I knew I had to get back on track. and so I typed my feelings away, baring my soul…and without doubt revealing my heart. the ice melted…over and over again until the water just ran out and I am back in the dry land again.
no situation is too hopeless or helpless that healing cannot touch. sometimes you end up with nothing or no one in the end, yet your soul is back to life. for others that much awaited, long needed talk happens and things become clearer and the sun shines brighter.
either way u grow…become so much better that u were yesterday…and with that growth comes the most awaited joy of walking in freedom.
It just got me thinking...
a few days ago i received a word in Is 61 though my bible reading that day..i did post it in my previous blog.
anyway, when i first read the scripture, i was like, OK God, i am going through this heartbreaking situation right now, but you will turn this experience around. Out of this experience I can become a better minister to those who are grieving, those who are mourning, in despair and heartbroken.
i just realize that i usually treat God's word that way..almost like Martha, who's attitude is to serve, serve serve...Sometimes I read the word and ask how God can use me to be an instrument in making his word a living reality to others.
it just dawned on me that i may be suffering from a messianic complex after all...lol! or maybe i have reached a point of getting too familiar with my relationship with him. (I certainly hope not!)or i may just be too confident that indeed God's word is yes and amen to those who ask, yet what i do is simply receive his word without asking. No wonder i have been receiving this scripture in John, i think, that says I do not receive because I do not ask!
yeah i think it is the later...hmmm...lol
as for Isiah 61, i had a whole new perspective of it just this week...but i will walk you through it in an intirely different thread! ~winks~
the bottomline is, i have to be balanced, not just a Martha, but a Mary as well, who will sit in Jesus' feet. There is nothing wrong with waiting on Jesus, on being ministered by Him, on getting refreshed.
afterall, I can't give what i don't have.
anyway, when i first read the scripture, i was like, OK God, i am going through this heartbreaking situation right now, but you will turn this experience around. Out of this experience I can become a better minister to those who are grieving, those who are mourning, in despair and heartbroken.
i just realize that i usually treat God's word that way..almost like Martha, who's attitude is to serve, serve serve...Sometimes I read the word and ask how God can use me to be an instrument in making his word a living reality to others.
it just dawned on me that i may be suffering from a messianic complex after all...lol! or maybe i have reached a point of getting too familiar with my relationship with him. (I certainly hope not!)or i may just be too confident that indeed God's word is yes and amen to those who ask, yet what i do is simply receive his word without asking. No wonder i have been receiving this scripture in John, i think, that says I do not receive because I do not ask!
yeah i think it is the later...hmmm...lol
as for Isiah 61, i had a whole new perspective of it just this week...but i will walk you through it in an intirely different thread! ~winks~
the bottomline is, i have to be balanced, not just a Martha, but a Mary as well, who will sit in Jesus' feet. There is nothing wrong with waiting on Jesus, on being ministered by Him, on getting refreshed.
afterall, I can't give what i don't have.
24.9.04
guess who walked out....
of a tutorial session????
Hard to tell, but I DID!
I am usually a very patient person...and I always try to see the good in people but today, I just had to walk away.
Three kids aged 10, 11 and 12...yep...that's how old they are...ooooOhh...they talk at the same time too..I think I am now on my sixth week, and somehow I thought I've had it figured out. Of course they have to work on their assignments first, then I will just have to check on their work afterwards..But there's a problem if they didn't understand their lessons..I have to be able to explain it to them...And then there's the time that they clamored for my attention at the same time..Can't they see there's only one of me and three of them??
The worst thing is when I am trying to explain to them something and they pretend to be bored or sleepy because they find the explaination too long and they want a shortcut. It would have been good if the understood the explaination in the end...the sad thing is they don't.
Now I am contemplating on whether i should go back or not. After over a month of tutoring them, I still haven't negotiated my rate..Sometimes I would think that it would be understandable if their mom won't pay me. I feel like it is a waste of money to keep meeting with these kids because they are so NOT interested. I don't know if they even understand why they are in school in the first place.
When I grow up (lol) and become a wife and mother someday, I will see to it that I tutor my own children myself. It's a pity, because children won't be kids for a lng time...As for me, I would like to be available for them, be their friend, and teach them the ways that they should go, so when they are older, they won't depart from those teachings.
Hard to tell, but I DID!
I am usually a very patient person...and I always try to see the good in people but today, I just had to walk away.
Three kids aged 10, 11 and 12...yep...that's how old they are...ooooOhh...they talk at the same time too..I think I am now on my sixth week, and somehow I thought I've had it figured out. Of course they have to work on their assignments first, then I will just have to check on their work afterwards..But there's a problem if they didn't understand their lessons..I have to be able to explain it to them...And then there's the time that they clamored for my attention at the same time..Can't they see there's only one of me and three of them??
The worst thing is when I am trying to explain to them something and they pretend to be bored or sleepy because they find the explaination too long and they want a shortcut. It would have been good if the understood the explaination in the end...the sad thing is they don't.
Now I am contemplating on whether i should go back or not. After over a month of tutoring them, I still haven't negotiated my rate..Sometimes I would think that it would be understandable if their mom won't pay me. I feel like it is a waste of money to keep meeting with these kids because they are so NOT interested. I don't know if they even understand why they are in school in the first place.
When I grow up (lol) and become a wife and mother someday, I will see to it that I tutor my own children myself. It's a pity, because children won't be kids for a lng time...As for me, I would like to be available for them, be their friend, and teach them the ways that they should go, so when they are older, they won't depart from those teachings.
23.9.04
On True Love Finding its way home
My hottie friend Rhea and I, on our usual Wednesday night movie addiction moments went to watch THE NOTEBOOK..
What a very poIgNanT love story. Made me think of my own life, the quest (or is it the waiting) for a true love and how I would want to grow old yet still hopelessly in love with my husband as if it were yesterday!
There was a part in the story wherein the guy said of the birds being able to find their way home, no matter where or how far they went.
How amazing!
Indeed true love comes our way sometimes stealthily you hardly even notice. MOst often we let go, in search of other "much better" more precious stones, only to find out in the end that we have always had a diamond all along!
What a shame it would be to wake up one morning with that realization. My prayer is that I would not miss seeing beyond a rough stone when it's really a diamond inside.
But even if I do miss (or if he will...lol) I hope that our love will always find its way home!
icEpRincEsS, soberly
What a very poIgNanT love story. Made me think of my own life, the quest (or is it the waiting) for a true love and how I would want to grow old yet still hopelessly in love with my husband as if it were yesterday!
There was a part in the story wherein the guy said of the birds being able to find their way home, no matter where or how far they went.
How amazing!
Indeed true love comes our way sometimes stealthily you hardly even notice. MOst often we let go, in search of other "much better" more precious stones, only to find out in the end that we have always had a diamond all along!
What a shame it would be to wake up one morning with that realization. My prayer is that I would not miss seeing beyond a rough stone when it's really a diamond inside.
But even if I do miss (or if he will...lol) I hope that our love will always find its way home!
icEpRincEsS, soberly
20.9.04
"COMES THE DAWN"
my dear friend Victor shared this with me during my last birthday.
i thought i'd share it with my fans (~winkz~) as well..
IcePrincess, thoughtfully
"COMES THE DAWN"
After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't mean security
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman or a man,
Not the grief of a child
And you learn to build all your roads
On today because tomorrow's ground
Is too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight
After a while you learn that even sunshine
Burns if you get too much
So you plant your garden and decorate
Your soul instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers
And you learn that you really can endure
That you really are strong
And you really do have worth
And your learn and learn
With every goodbye you learn
i thought i'd share it with my fans (~winkz~) as well..
IcePrincess, thoughtfully
"COMES THE DAWN"
After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't mean security
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman or a man,
Not the grief of a child
And you learn to build all your roads
On today because tomorrow's ground
Is too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight
After a while you learn that even sunshine
Burns if you get too much
So you plant your garden and decorate
Your soul instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers
And you learn that you really can endure
That you really are strong
And you really do have worth
And your learn and learn
With every goodbye you learn
19.9.04
it feels good....
to articulate your thoughts!
I really feel so much better after a very emotionally draining ordeal. Not that I am completely out of it but letting go and acceptance work their wonders.
This morning I woke up and read Isaiah 61:
The Year of the LORD 's Favor
1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, [1] 2 to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, 3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.
The words practically came alive!!
God is good all the time, and all the time He is good!
iceprincess, gratefully
I really feel so much better after a very emotionally draining ordeal. Not that I am completely out of it but letting go and acceptance work their wonders.
This morning I woke up and read Isaiah 61:
The Year of the LORD 's Favor
1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, [1] 2 to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, 3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.
The words practically came alive!!
God is good all the time, and all the time He is good!
iceprincess, gratefully
18.9.04
My heart skipped a beat....
because the one guy who makes my heart melt called..silly me!
No he didn't call because he wants me back...It was in reaction to his question of how i was doing. I gave a matter of fact reply that I am messed up but will be fine soon.
He said in mostly unintelligible terms that I should not allow the situation to affect me ( I guess I was too tongue tied to react or even hear what he was saying).
I think I may be going thru some delayed reactions to what now is an extinct (for lack of a better term) relationship. I really don't know but thoughts of him and us keeps haunting me. It's not like I keep revisiting it, I don't. Coz I know that if i want to get out of this emotional quagmire fast, I have to stop remembering and I tried...real badly...but still it keeps bothering me.
I wish I am like HIM, that I can just tell myself not to let it affect me. I know I took my every conversations with him seriously, and treasured them in my heart and believed just like a little girl promised of a happy ever after. What keeps ringing in my head is this song he sang, about us being able to make it if we try. Of course I knew that people change their minds, but I did not know how I managed to convince myself that he is not everyone, that everyone else will change their minds but NOT him. I guess it was also because I know that part of me will die without him. So that I knew letting go was never an option. That's something I have validated awhile back because unknown to him, I have tried several times to let go, only to find myself miserably failing at it.
Until now..I can't fail this time.. because it is what he wants, and maybe even what we need (tho my whole being is clearly revolting at such ideas). And even if it is NOT what I want or need, I have to convince myself everyday that it is the RIGHT thing to do or even if it isn't, there is nothing I can do about it.
Me, AFFECTED? Absolutely...I can't help it, especially if we're talking about having to let go of someone who means the world to me.
I know a lot of people think I am silly or stupid. Sometimes I think that way too, but over and above that, I am just a girl who fell recklessly in love head on, face flat I didn't even know what hit me. The good news for me is, I will rise up, and after this dark stormy emotional hysteria is over, the sun will surely shine on me again.
I miss him terribly and I can't possibly put in intelligible terms how much I love him. It is my hope and prayer that one day, when I think about him, I will be able to smile knowing that he's one guy I love, meant my whole world, had to let go yet no longer affects me.
God help me!
Iceprincess, truthfully
No he didn't call because he wants me back...It was in reaction to his question of how i was doing. I gave a matter of fact reply that I am messed up but will be fine soon.
He said in mostly unintelligible terms that I should not allow the situation to affect me ( I guess I was too tongue tied to react or even hear what he was saying).
I think I may be going thru some delayed reactions to what now is an extinct (for lack of a better term) relationship. I really don't know but thoughts of him and us keeps haunting me. It's not like I keep revisiting it, I don't. Coz I know that if i want to get out of this emotional quagmire fast, I have to stop remembering and I tried...real badly...but still it keeps bothering me.
I wish I am like HIM, that I can just tell myself not to let it affect me. I know I took my every conversations with him seriously, and treasured them in my heart and believed just like a little girl promised of a happy ever after. What keeps ringing in my head is this song he sang, about us being able to make it if we try. Of course I knew that people change their minds, but I did not know how I managed to convince myself that he is not everyone, that everyone else will change their minds but NOT him. I guess it was also because I know that part of me will die without him. So that I knew letting go was never an option. That's something I have validated awhile back because unknown to him, I have tried several times to let go, only to find myself miserably failing at it.
Until now..I can't fail this time.. because it is what he wants, and maybe even what we need (tho my whole being is clearly revolting at such ideas). And even if it is NOT what I want or need, I have to convince myself everyday that it is the RIGHT thing to do or even if it isn't, there is nothing I can do about it.
Me, AFFECTED? Absolutely...I can't help it, especially if we're talking about having to let go of someone who means the world to me.
I know a lot of people think I am silly or stupid. Sometimes I think that way too, but over and above that, I am just a girl who fell recklessly in love head on, face flat I didn't even know what hit me. The good news for me is, I will rise up, and after this dark stormy emotional hysteria is over, the sun will surely shine on me again.
I miss him terribly and I can't possibly put in intelligible terms how much I love him. It is my hope and prayer that one day, when I think about him, I will be able to smile knowing that he's one guy I love, meant my whole world, had to let go yet no longer affects me.
God help me!
Iceprincess, truthfully
17.9.04
My WorlD, My WordS
Ladies and gentlemen, ballpen and fountainpen!!!!
Welcome to My cOrNeR of ThE WoRLD.
Call me IcePrincess, coz that's who I am.
I have nothing much to write for my opening salvo..(lol) my brain is not working right now. What with my recent celebration of a death anniversary..(hmmm...will write abt that sometime)
So for now, I will just leave things as they are.
iceprincess, matter of factly
Update: Dec 2012 - Kalandrakas is a Filipino Visayan term meaning mixed or assorted. Many years ago, I started this blog as a random journal of the season I was in. I haven't always been writing regularly but I noticed that I did record some significant times of my roller coaster emotions.
Years passed that covered one amazing husband, an intercontinent move and two toddlers later, I am inspired to blog again so I thought I would just resurrect this, make a few changes and get on with it. I
thought kalandrakas is an appropriate description of what this has turned into - truly kalandrakas!
Welcome to My cOrNeR of ThE WoRLD.
Call me IcePrincess, coz that's who I am.
I have nothing much to write for my opening salvo..(lol) my brain is not working right now. What with my recent celebration of a death anniversary..(hmmm...will write abt that sometime)
So for now, I will just leave things as they are.
iceprincess, matter of factly
Update: Dec 2012 - Kalandrakas is a Filipino Visayan term meaning mixed or assorted. Many years ago, I started this blog as a random journal of the season I was in. I haven't always been writing regularly but I noticed that I did record some significant times of my roller coaster emotions.
Years passed that covered one amazing husband, an intercontinent move and two toddlers later, I am inspired to blog again so I thought I would just resurrect this, make a few changes and get on with it. I
thought kalandrakas is an appropriate description of what this has turned into - truly kalandrakas!
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