17.6.05

PuRely mY SeNtImEnTs

A few years ago I discovered that I would be happiest when I work in organizations that seek to make a contribution in community development.

For me to actually resign from a well paying job in a universal bank seemed like madness that my own mother thought I was crazy to give it up so I can do something about with my newly discovered passion.

I don’t know…I just get a natural high knowing that what I am doing is making a contribution towards the betterment of the society.

For four years I have been pursuing a career in the non-profit industry and I can say it has it rewards. In fact I can go on to say that what I learned for eight years in the bank, I already did for a few months in my new industry.

I got to meet important, unassuming, down-to earth people who has no qualms about who they are or their stature in the society. Which is the exact opposite of my former boss!

Working in ngo’s as I said has its share of highs. And low’s depending on how you look at it. I remember organizing an event, and having to pick up the guest speaker on the day of the activity itself, host the program when we arrived at the venue, took pictures, and help facilitate one of the working groups during the breakout sessions. Whew! You would think I was superwoman! But I wasn’t and I am not. There was just no one else who was available to do it. There are other things too. But my point is, all these things all the more strengthened the joy I derive from such activities.

Mind you, I am a very hardworking person. I can spare myself of so many luxuries, be it time, money or what have you, just so I can deliver the expected results, as long as things are clearly laid down to me. I want to know my boundaries, I like to work in an environment where I am free to deliver certain objectives in such a way that I can freely choose certain options that I have laid out, unless of course there is a standard operating procedure that has been clearly discussed and understood prior to embarking on a project.

As a professional I hate to do anything that would put my integrity and reputation at stake. That is why it takes me forever to finish something that the way I see it, is not in line with what I believe and stand for. Sometimes I am too obedient, many times, too much for my own good. But anyone just has to ask me the right question to get the truth out of me.

As I said I always work with a passion, many times at my own expense just to get things done. But cross the line that will jeopardize what I stand for and I will be the first one to run.

I am so grateful for the many opportunities that my jobs since four years ago have brought me. I know that I have more things to learn. But for now, I know for certain that it is time for me to leave and venture in other career opportunities somewhere.

Who knows where God will be pleased to take me!

15.6.05

Me and My Big Mouth!

Love…the sensations it brings out of every individual. I am sure every person has a story to tell _ unrequited or otherwise.

I myself am no exception. Although it was not your usual girl-meets-boy story, it is a story nonetheless, and not just one but three at that.

So I am stubborn, can you tell? Or maybe not! Maybe I have learned to make a distinction between love and the one I loved.

I guess it is true what they say, that you don’t really plan to fall in love. That is, if you can call mine love stories at all.

It all started with X, a twenty-something something something (lol). For an engineer, he wrote in prose and poetry! And was I impressed! Maybe that made me ignore our age difference, or the religion factor. But then again maybe I was amazed that for the first time in my life someone didn’t find me intimidating at all. He actually thought I was sweet! :p Although he left because his Daddy thought I might not be able to keep up with his passions, I have to give him credit for being an obedient son, and for melting the ice for the very first time!

Y came into my life at a time when I was so wary of relationships. He rebuked me at one time for wanting to skin someone alive. He was a friend when I needed one. And boy, was he “there” for me. His passion for God, his music..they all warmed me up to him. It was a great feeling! And then our friendship took a different turn. Although it was a surprise, we both welcomed the change, at least I know I did..until he became busy with work…and life..and I was left shattered for the very first time.

And then there’s Z. If there’s anything that I will credit him for, it is his patience and his ability to make you feel like the most important person. After what we’ve been through, no one would think we would actually “kiss” and make up. And it was the single most amazing and sweetest thing to actually happen to me. I know I didn’t think it will take a different twist either. It is my second chance with him, and his fourth or fifth, as he calls it.

Like every story, chapter-by-chapter they just ended, often leaving me dazed. And many times, even if I didn’t want the story to end, I just had to close the book, for the sake of my own sanity! Hehehe!

To this day I have no inkling why they just disappeared. As for me, all I know is my #1 love language is quality time and a close #2 being words of affection. When those guys become too busy, my love tank goes empty, leaving me gasping for air.

Sometimes I still wonder how relationships can start out with so much fun and promise, you wouldn’t imagine it would end..At least I didn’t. But don’t take my words seriously, I am usually left clueless. Naiveté? Or just plain ignorance? Hahaha!!

Eitherway, I will love again. By then, it will be someone who will finally see what a great catch I am, and hopefully, he will stay..for life! . ;-)

DISCLAMER: I didn't really meet any of these guys in real life. They are all probably just a figment of my tired, overworked, underpaid, hopelessly romantic imagination! lol! peace guys!

14.6.05

Happy Parents’ Day

The one-day celebration dedicated to mothers and fathers every May and June respectively makes me wonder if it even begins to show the honor and respect parents deserve at all.

Even with the one-day each reserved for them, sometimes we still miss or is it blatantly ignore (?) such an important event. But is one day really sufficient? Or shouldn’t it be an everyday thing?

During last Sunday’s celebration service in church, my Pastor preached a very timely message on the 5th Commandment in Exodus 20:12 "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.

Let me briefly share the key points that has encouraged me from the preaching.

I can still hear my mother’s lectures on the importance of honoring parents based on the scripture. I know there are times that we don’t always feel like it, so why should we honor our parents then?

Three reasons why: 1) God requires it..yup, whether they deserve it or not..no matter what they are like; 2) God will reward it..Not only will we live long, we will also be rewarded with a good life (Eph 6:1) Afterall, what’s a good life for if it is spent in suffering? and 3) Children will repeat it. This one scared me. If the way I treat my parents now is the gauge of how my children will respond to me in the future, then I might as well do things correctly right now.

Like I said it, honoring parents is not always a piece of cake. The question is, is there a way parents to make it easy for kids to honor them?

Absolutely! 1) Love God passionately; and this doesn’t mean simply loving by words. More importantly, it is wholeheartedly serving God by example. When children see their parents’ genuine love for God in the way they live, there is no need for them to make any threats just so they will join then in church. 2) Love your espouse properly..Be practical.make it a habit to make the other happy. This comes very easy when #1 is a given. 3) Love your children equally. When parents play favorites, it is like a bomb waiting to explode.

How do we honor our parents then? 1) The life we live. Are we causing them problems? Or are we wise in handling our affairs? (Pr 23:24-25; Pr 10:1; Pr 15:20) 2) The love we give. (Pr 13:1) Do we take heed of their instructions? (Pr 12:1) Generally, parents will never do anything that will hurt us on purpose (Col 2:20, Eph 6:1) At times, the way they treat us is the best they know how. Who can blame them? Afterall, ther e is no school for parenting! 3)The listening ear we extend. As they give guidance (Deu 21:18) as they give discipline (Pr 6:20-23;Heb 12:7-11) and as they grow old (Pr 23:22)

Why did I decide to share this here? I seriously think we can pick a thing or two and apply them in our lives.

Isn’t it true how easy it is for us to take our parents for granted as we grow older? I thought this would be a fitting reminder for every sons and daughters to treat their parents well.

And while Father’s Day is on its way, I want to take this opportunity to thank my parents, Florencio Medrano Lumactod and Teresita Pagaran Clarit, for raising me and my siblings up the best way they can. They have always provided us with all our needs, sometimes beyond their ability. Not only did they teach us what honor means, they lived it as well.

But what will always stay as their greatest, single most important legacy in my life is having taught me about God and the fear of Him. For as long as I could remember, I knew there is a perfect God and I realized my inadequacies. Because of that knowledge, it was so easy for me to see my need of a personal relationship with Jesus and embrace Him as the Leader and Savior of my Life.

I am sure my siblings will agree with me when I say that given a wild opportunity to choose any parents that I would fancy, I would pick my Papa and Mama all over again.

9.6.05

Death and Taxes

Brad Pitt’s movie entitled “Meet Joe Black” spoke of two things that are certain in this world: Death and Taxes. I was so sure for a long time that it is only change that does not change. (haha! I almost confused myself there)

I brought up the issue of death for a change. Hehehe! Most of what is written in here is ramblings on love and relationships. I do have a different side.

Actually this is a breakaway from a topic, which I opened in a message board because of a rampant announcement of obituaries in my hometown. Death happens all the time. Like what some of the posters mentioned, it is a like a thief in the night. It comes when it is least expected. And it is no respecter of person either. It comes to us regardless of age, sex, race or status.

For years, it is a topic that very few people ever venture into. For most people, it is easier to shun the discussion of death, rather than confront it. But my feeling is, if it is so inevitable, it might as well be discussed and exposed rather than kept hidden deep within along with most of life’s questions.

Like most people, I wriggle out on the issue every chance I get. I felt that I was too young to even worry about it. I thought it is an issue that older people should worry about.

I must say I was still a teen when I was confronted with the reality of death. No, I was not in a near-death situation or anything, thank God! Someone was just bold enough to ask where I thought I would go if I died that day.

Of course I had no clue. For a long time I thought that if I don’t talk about death, then it will just go away. That day, for the first time, I had to give an answer to a question that I didn’t want to face.

Seeing that I almost turned pale and obviously groping for words, the lady sat next to me and explained some very important truths about death. Yes, it comes to anyone at any time. The good news, she said is that we can prepare for our departure from this life to the next. And when we do that, then there is nothing to be afraid.

She went on to point out that the very first step to becoming fearless of death is by making sure that I have set my relationship with God straight. She didn’t mean becoming religious. (that would have turned me off) She meant having a vibrant and active relationship with a living God. She referred to the Bible wherein Jesus challenged death when He said, where O Death is your sting, when he was raised from the grave after three days. That day I did not hesitate to make my preparations. I invited Jesus, not just to be there as He always is, but more importantly, to be the Savior and Leader of my life.

I will always look back to that monumental day of February 1990, because not only was I assured of eternal life, my many fears of life and death evaporated. The good thing is, it is not because of me, but because of what Jesus did for me, that I could be fearless of death.

When I die, I don’t want people to cry. I want them to rejoice because after a temporary stint here on earth, I will finally be united with my eternal groom, Jesus.

The Grass is Greener Somewhere Else?!?

The Filipino diaspora all around the globe is very common that I am almost certain that there is at least one member of every family who lives and works abroad.

I remember a time when my father went to California to settle the sale of a family property. I think he came back after over six months impressed and mesmerized with the US of A that I had a feeling he wanted to move all of us there.

I was a sophomore business student then, actively participating in rallies and other campus activities in an effort to point out errors committed by the government, and at the same time promote social awareness among fellow students and the Cebuano community. It was at that time when I could vividly remember the street chants that my father arrived from his trip.

While he was sharing his accolades, I can still recall how he looked when I dismissed him with a shrug. I was so convinced that if all the good people will leave, the corrupt will remain, and this nation will be reduced to utter ruin.

Don’t get me wrong, I never had anything against those who go abroad from the very start. I just didn’t think it was my path.

It was not until I became actively involved in my church  that I had a change of perspective. From day one, I was told to get a passport, among others. What with a vision to honor God and advance his Kingdom by making disciples, training leaders and planting churches in the Philippines, Asia and the world.

My myopic focus on my own little world had to leave as I started to look beyond. When I drafted my personal mission statement, I did not confine myself with what I can see. It included the world. Thus I can go anywhere, given a purpose worth pursuing.

Of course being able to help our family is a good one. This is often the reason why husbands or wives leave their families behind for greener pasture. I know of someone who works tirelessly just so he can help his dad and close relatives financially. I deeply admire his steadfast resolution at such a time as this.

However, I don’t think the provision is enough to justify being apart from your own family. I know of people whose children go astray because of absentee parents. Having money for the children's future is pointless if the children are already addicted to drugs, or alcohol or bad influence of friends. For me, money is not enough payment when I look at the price they have to pay for it.

If parents, or one of the parents plan to leave, I hope they include bringing the whole family along. When I get married, I don’t think I can afford to be away from my husband and children for over a week. How much more for years? It is just not healthy, not for the marriage, or for the children.

God's original design for the family is for them to be together, not apart, NOT even in the guise of making money for them.

On a personal note, my brothers will attest that I have already traveled the world if we are to talk about the countries that I planned to go to...I am a dreamer and I don't hesitate to talk about my dreams..( talk about someone who has a wedding plan with a minor hitch - no groom! hahaha) Wherever God will take me in the next couple of months, I hope it is somewhere where I will meet someone who will pay for my plan...bwahahaha! Seriously, (and there's no need to take me to the hospital) wherever that is, i know it is a place where I will fulfill God's purpose for me...and who knows...maybe even make some money!