Swamped 2007

Originally posted in March 2007 in another blog that I am about to shut down
I had difficulty sleeping last night, trying to figure out a solution to a series of problems. My husband called it a mathematical equation. I said yes, considering that it contained a lot of figures.

It seemed like an end of the world situation, but there was just nothing I could do. Perhaps if I could turn back time, I would have done things differently, but that would be another story.I ended up tossing and turning in bed up until the wee hours of the morning, without getting closer to a solution.

Finally, I drifted to sleep, only to chase a Cathay Pacific flight right in the beachfront of Boracay. If it wasn't weird enough, I had to run from station 3 to station 1 in order to catch my flight. The plane left without me while I woke up sweating all over.

What a night! The morning wasn't as bad as I imagined. Things turned out well and I am still alive.
Worries do that - give us sleepless, restless nights, especially at times when we can't be part of the solution, but the problem is ours to solve anyway. It magnifies the problems to  scary proportions.

However, instead of dwelling on the problem, it is better to focus on the One who promised to help us with the solution. Then we can stay still even in the darkest nights knowing SomeOne is looking after us.

Simple Prayers 2007

Originally posted in March 2007 in another blog that I am about to shut down 


A few days after heavy grumbling about my circumstances, God spoke to me in the words of my pastor that brought me to tears. I shared them with my husband, who in turn shared it with his friend whom he said is going through the same season as us. I couldn't have written it any better so I got his permission to share it here:

1. We need to stretch our patience and hold on to our trust in God. That he knows what he is doing and we are in his thoughts, he hasn't forgotten us.
-we daily remind him of his promises for us for you and his word says is promise is sure.
Phil 4:19 ( God is able to meet our needs according to his riches in glory)

2. that God will meet all our needs according to His glorious riches and glory
His promise is to meet all needs, putting our visas beside all needs makes it look like a trivial prayer request and its a given that God will grant it. He's ability to meet our needs is " considerably bigger" than what we are asking right now. So we don't doubt his ability at all and thats why we trust in him in first instance.

3. His word
We can also look at it that It is legitimate and scriptural for a husband and wife to be together or desire to be. God promised to meet ALL needs.

And if we go on and on the bottomline is God promised and we can only put those promises back to him. We have done everything we can do in the natural it is God's job to do the supernatural, we can't do more than that but to wait for the fulfillment of his promise for us. In short we can look at his ability to meet our need, our trust in him enough to make us rest and be assured all is well. We just need to pray for grace and strength for this season we are in but we are not forgetful of his promises for us as his children.

I understand the waiting period will be a struggle but we just need to hold on. I try to look at this a new way lately. Each day is day closer to the fulfillment of his promise for us. A day closer to answers to our prayer. Thats my attitude in keeping an eye on the prize.

Second Thoughts 2007

Originally posted in March 2007 in another blog that I am about to shut down

The proverb that goes: "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another" speaks exactly of my predicament. When around people, there are certain things and issues that come out that wouldn't have been a problem under normal circumstances.

Let me site a few examples:
School. I went to school at an early age when kids should be playing around. While all the kids in my neighborhood were doing their own thing, I was at first a visitor - seated in row 4 - until I was moved to row 1, beating the regular students. My teacher told my mother that she will move me up to the next level, she just needed to comply with the requirements to make me a regular student.

I did not regret being a year younger than the rest of the classmates, or finishing my studies one year ahead of people my age. However, I must admit that school became a place to keep myself busy or to get out of boredome instead of a venue to quench one's thirst for learning.

If truth be told, the more years I spend in school, the more I realize how little I know. But if I will ever go back, it has to be because I want to learn more, I want to pursue a passion and not just to entertain myself out of nothing better to do.

Family. I come from a regular, imperfect family - close, but maybe not really, to others. I mean, we can go for a while without talking to each other and we are okay with that. We genuinely care for each other, and the way we communicate it has never really been a problem.

However, when someone who comes from a family like mine,  gets exposed to other types of families - some who are really, really close or others who don't even care, it makes one examine if something is right or wrong.

I thank God for the parents He gave me. I appreciate that He made me and my siblings different. Our communication skills may be wanting, but that's how we are are. We wouldn't be ourselves if we did things differently. And just because we don't conform to the views and experiences of other people won't make things right or wrong - just different.

Sermons. Someone once told me that I am very confusing, and maybe so but a moderate amount of sermon is good for the soul. I am not perfect, and I can use a word or two once in a while, but please, don't get carried away.

Work. If I knew then what I know now, I'm sure I would have done things differently. Of course some things will remain the same, like resigning from my previous job. My German boss kept me on my toes, and if I stayed longer I would probably have a heart problem. Nothing wrong with that, except that I got used to being given a project and left to myself to work on it. Also, I knew he won't let me take a more than a month leave from work so it was necessary.

While working on my papers, I did answer to want adds, but I must confess it wasn't as serious as I should. I feel guilty about not working, but I feel more guilty knowing that I will leave anytime and it wouldn't be fair to the employer. And I have to make up a reason when I need to take time off to attend to my application.
Having said all of the above, I must say that I am God's work in progress. So are you. Which brings me to the next point: Life and its' many choices. When confronted with other people's opinion, I can become bitter or better. If I am smart at all, I will choose the one that will make a better person out of me.

Overflow of Thanksgiving 2007

this was posted in april 2007

As a young woman, I made a decision early in life that I will never marry someone from the military or who works as a seaman. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against this professions and I do have friends among them. It was just that I thought that there is no point in getting married and being separated from your spouse for a long period of time. It was a personal choice without any intention of offending anyone.

When I got married last year, I didn't have to confront the issue since I married a man who thinks our children should live with us until they finish a post graduate education. Obviously we share the same attitude towards family togetherness, with a slight difference in terms of the length.

Of course we both knew that there will be a short period that we will be away from each other, but we will eventually be together. What we didn't realize is that it will take us three months to complete the necessary documents plus another  month or so to process the application.

While I am not pointing fingers or shifting blames, I must admit that the past four months hasn't been easy. It seemed like forever. We've been waiting for two months now since we submitted our papers but the great divide between us doesn't seem to close anytime soon. At least that is how it looks. What with many cold, sleepless nights coupled with loneliness attacks.

But God do not operate based on our senses and his works should never be judged based on our feelings.
I have to admit that He seemed invisible, as if He had forgotten me or worst, He simply doesn't care. For two days those thoughts filled my mind. However, knowing God, I knew in the end that He is not to blame, that I will come crying before Him like always. But I also needed the secure feeling of assurance that He is indeed doing something. So for two days I ignored Him. I went to His word to confirm that He has no intention of getting back at me.

Inspite of my wavering faith and tremendous bouts with doubt, it didn't seem to shake God - for faithful is His name! He came in the form of my husband, whom I call the sermonator, -always speaking with wisdom, encouragement and love. He spoke through the weekend service, reminding me that I need to walk tall, stay above my circumstances and confess God's sustaining grace in this time of separation.

I thanked my friend who preached the Word and told him how he singled me out in his preaching. I knew it was God reminding me that He has not forgotten me!

I don't want to be known as a person who was so close to getting her prayers answered, except that I was always whining that God had to delay the answer, in order to correct my attitude. I would like to be His daughter who exercised her faith towards her faithful Father. I would like to be a wife who brings joy and pride to her husband and family.I would like to be someone who stood tall and held on to His maker just because he said Trust me in this. I would like to be a woman of faith who overflows with thanksgiving because it is the right thing to do.

Self Talk 2007

 This was originally posted in June 2007, i am just moving my blogs in one place -

I'm reading a book entitled You are What You Think by Dr. David Stoop wherein one of the issues he raised is the relationship between anger and self talk. For someone who has been told that I have anger management issues(you know who you are!), I took great interest on the subject in my effort to become a better, more pleasing person before God.

It was pointed out that our demands tend to intensify our emotions that often lead to anger. In order to defuse anger, such demands should be changed to wants and desires.

After going through my rants, my self talk in certain areas should be changing real soon:

        1. I wish I am braver and stronger.
        2. I am battling with sadness and loneliness. I wish I understand what is going on.
        3. Eventhough I don't understand, I still believe God is in control over every situation in my life.
       4. I wish I will get hired for that writing job I applied for.
       5. I may not have all the money in the world, but I know that God will meet all my needs according to His glorious riches and glory.
       6. God, I need more patience.
      7. People are tactless and insensitive of other people's feelings. I wish they can be more considerate.

God is NEVER Late 2007

 This was originally posted in August 2007, I am just putting my bloggs in one place -
 
It all happened so quickly. First, my husband came to see me after seven months of separation. Next thing we knew, I had to get ready so I can travel back with him. Not that I need to start from scratch. I was practically packed since February 2007, even before the embassy gave me an interview schedule.

Looking back at the months that passed, it leaves me red with embarrasment before God, considering the attitude that I had towards Him. I wasn't at my best. I grumble at every opportunity, getting back to my senses once in a while, only to get back, far worst than where I started. It was very easy for me to forget who God is and allow my situation to get the best of me. But with all my complaints and rants before God, what really brought me through it was going back to His word every time. My husband and I would pray over the phone and encourage each other that it wasn't God's plan for us to be away from each other. My in-laws would call all the way from Africa to cheer me up and speak blessing over our situation. They even organized a prayer chain to ask, seek and knock the doors of heaven.

I guess few of my friends understood the impact of the perennial question of when I was leaving affected me. It was a question that I couldn't answer. Aside from my case officer, only God could possibly know.

Towards the end of June 2007, it became clear to me that I was leaving very soon. I was sad that I wasn't able to go home to my parents, but my mother's surprise made up for it. It wasn't easy to leave, but it's for the best.

It may have appeared to me that God was silent the whole time, but I knew from His spoken word that He cares. He promised to NEVER leave or forsake me. Over and above everything that I learned out of the situation, it is that God is never late. He is always on time.

At times He just wants me to trust Him completely - His timing, and to exhibit more patience in my life.

To wait or not to wait 2007

This was originally posted in October 2007 and I am just moving my blogs in one place - 

It seems that life is full of waiting. That's what I discovered after having lived over thirty years on earth. Just when you think your done with it, another episode of life comes that requires more waiting.

In my case for instance, after what seemed like eternity, I finally joined my husband in a distant land. Boy, did I think I was ready for it - only to find myself crying some days just because I was left at home with nothing much to do. I did keep myself preoccupied by looking for a job, but getting an interview seemed like a challenge. When I do get one, I would get lost on the way, fall short of the requirement or simply be met with stiff competition. I thought of volunteering, but even that requires getting shortlisted. Going to back to school floated as another option, which will take time, money and effort when what I really want to do is work.

Finally, after coming to terms that I may have to become a plain housewife just like my dream job, I received a call from an interview the day before - the one that gave me a headache- with an offer to work for them. I accepted without hesitation since my background and skills coincided with their requirement and I have decided to make a long term career in that area.

I know it is not the end of my waiting sprees. When things will settle, something new will come up again. What I need is to learn to relax, take things easy and enjoy every single situation that will require me to wait. Most importantly, I need to remember that God is in the midst of every situation that I get into.

Trusting God Oct 2007

I originally wrote this in October 2007 and I am just moving all my blogs in one place -

When God tells you to trust Him, at times it can be easier said than done. Especially if you don't particularly like the way you have to wait and abandon yourself to Him. In a way, this concludes my three-month struggle over something very important to me. It doesn't mean however, that I am over it. I still cry when I think about it, to be honest. But I am trusting God for His grace every time.

Growing up in my Christian faith, I resolved early the importance of the spiritual family that God added me into. I learned that even in the choice of a local church, it is very important to seek God and aspire for accuracy in order not to miss His destiny for my life. I also realized that my personal purpose and destiny should align with that of my local church, otherwise, I will miss the best that God has in store for me. Over the years I learned to honor God and advance His kingdom through discipleship, leadership and church planting. Apart from leadership and discipleship, I also learned to treasure and value  evangelism, lordship and family.

To say that church is an important part of my daily life would be an understatement. Imagine the struggle and rollercoaster emotions that I went through after getting uprooted from my local church, only to discover that I will be going to a different spiritual family, thanks to my husband and God's private discussion. To make matters more difficult, it is written in stone and my slightest opposition would be getting in the way of God's plan.

Truthfully I found it unfair that God wouldn't tell me of this surprise turn of events. I would at least have prepared myself and not have struggled over the changes. I found it overwhelming considering all the changes that I am currently going through. I didn't realize everything to happen at the same time. When I go through certain issues in my life, I have always had my church around me with all the support, acceptance, and encouragement surrounding me. Instead, I am feeling all alone in a sea of strangers that I can't help but feel lost and alone.

Everything familiar to me is gone, including church. The sad thing is, there is one a few suburbs away from where we live, that shared the same mission, vision and values. They also "do" church exactly the same way where I am from. It practically left me mortified and miserable for days. I felt like I was missing out on what God wants me to do. I felt like I had to start all over again in terms of my purpose, mission and vision. But most importantly, I felt lost and groping for light in a dark tunnel.

Don't get me wrong, this new church is great and their passion and worship touches heaven. But they are not my spiritual family - I didn't grow up with them and they do thing differently from what I am used to. I guess my husband couldn't see what strong ties I have with my spiritual family and how it is not easy for me, especially that there is one church like that close by.

A few nights ago, I was listening to a preaching on marriage relationship and God just spoke to me though the message. Since He has placed me under the leadership of my husband, I need to submit to him, as long as he is not leading me to sin, whether or not I necessarily agree with his choice. Trust me is what I heard God speaking to me. I pray for abundant grace to obey Him and see things the way He does.

City2Surf 2008

Those who know me will be the first to say how difficult it is for me to go to the gym or engage in any physical activity in the name of fitness. I had this mindset that exercise is only for those who want to loose weight, which didn't include me until all the carbs I've accumulated started catching up with me when I reached my 30's.

On the 10th of August 2008, I joined City2Surf, a 14 km fun run (or walk in my case) sponsored by the

Back of the pack

Sun Herald newspaper, and is held in Sydney Australia. The race is one of the biggest running races in the world and attracts over 70,000 participants.No I wasn't thinking of getting fit in the first instance. As I was

organizing the Habitat for Humanity Team, I guess I felt compelled to join the team first. Of course I also enlisted hubby, who initially thought that I was joking about the whole thing.

Let me just say that I finished the race - 55843rd over the line with a time of under 3 hours ( ok - so it was 2 hrs 58 min 40 sec :p ) It was fun, seriously! And all I could think of was the whole grilled ribs I was going to have after the finish line! I had so much fun, I'd do it again next year - maybe by then I might even run..

Queensland Break June 2008

Every hard work deserves a day off so I took mine on a long weekend in celebration of the Queen's birthday on the 6th of June. We were on a one and a half hour flight to Brisbane wrapped in layered clothing and jacket only to land in a sunny city. I guess one can call it love at first sight and it seriously brought me to thinking that God must love them locals soo much, they get to keep the sun more often compared to the other states.

Surfers Paradise is true to its name. It was for me an urban version of Boracay. At Movieworld, I relived my childhood by posing with batman and robin as well as tweety.

 I also took, along with the mister, a daring ride at the lethal weapon, which in my opinion is the most deadly ride in that theme park. A holiday is not complete without shopping and Harbourtown just blew my wallet away- well not too much as we got there at 4pm and they closed at 5:30pm. That 6-hour return drive to 

Towoomba was well worth it having met Asraf and his beautiful family. We spent our last day with friends who made it extra special. Their offer to look after the kids when we have them made moving there even more tempting. 

Gran Family Anniversary and Birthday Party

How privileged we were to have witnessed their celebration of 18 years in marriage and their younger son's 15th birthday.

It was a truly fantastic experience and I'm sure it won't be our last. On our own, we would probably pack our bags and move without batting an eyelash. But we both know that we needed to stay on our knees and seek God on the matter. In the meantime, what we do have is a beautiful memory and happy thoughts of that trip.

Thought for the Day

My boss sent this thought last Wednesday to the resource development team. I can't help but share - but mostly because I am feeling very blessed to work with a man whose leadership and dependence on God I respect:

Isaiah 40 verse 30 -31(NAS)

Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Psalm 127 verse 1-2 (Message)

If God doesn't build the house, the builders only build shacks.
If God doesn't guard the city, the night watchman might as well nap.
It's useless to rise early and go to bed late, and work your worried fingers to the bone.
Don't you know he enjoys giving rest to those he loves?

Just a couple of verses to encourage you (and myself :-)) to trust and rest in a loving God in the middle of a busy life!

Sometimes in the rush we can lose sight of the fact that our Heavenly Father loves us, has chosen us and wants us to be blessed and to be a blessing.

In the midst of all the activity and demands of life I encourage you to take time, stop, be still and actually engage our hearts with God. That's where the power to live an abundant life comes from, relationship with our creator.

Our problems are not problems to Him but an opportunity for him to do the miraculous.We just need to listen to His voice and follow His lead.

Have a blessed day!

My North Sydney Premonition

I officially started my job search one month after I moved, what with the cold winter upon my arrival, that made staying at home a better option, as opposed to going out - not even for shopping.

I went mostly to online websites like www.seek.com.au for advertisements on job availability and requirements. For a period of four months, I had four interviews in North Sydney that I joked that I will be working in the area. That was before I got lost and missed one interview - when I sat down in one of the benches and cried before God out of desperation, just because my husband printed for me a small map of my destination.
Sometime in October, on the very day of my friend Althea's birthday, I had a scheduled interview in Parramatta, for this organization that I am working for now. In the course of the interview, it came up that they are scheduled to move to the city - to which I shamelessly said that it is because I will be joining them that they have to change locations.
To give you an idea, Parramatta is an hour and thirty to forty five minutes train ride for me from Sutherland counting the time to walk from home to the train station and office. As long as I get on my train platform as scheduled, then I am alright. It is during the times that I get up late and had to drag myself out of bed that I find myself sprinting instead of my usual 10-minute walk that I had to gasp for air (I know Bexz, I should have gone jogging with you!) when I get on the train. Other than that, there's always things to do - reading, listening to music from my reliable phone, people watching, praying or just staying quiet on the whole ride.
As I type this morning, I am sitting in my new desk in our new Pacific Highway Office in North Sydney. It is way bigger, and the whole National Office will stay in one place instead of two offices. Oh, and did I say that I took the 8:05 express train (as opposed to the 7:26 if I was going to Parramatta) from Sutherland and got here at 9:00 AM?
Disclaimer: It is usually a busy morning but the movers are still in our old office and wont be here before lunch. Otherwise, I wouldn't have the time to blog on the first day after a long Easter break!

This January, I thank God for -

**FRIENDS - you know who you are - because of your kindness my brother got his laptop (among others) in one piece.

**MOVIE NIGHTS - usually tuesdays, as the rates during the rest of the week doubles

**SUMMER RAIN - God knows I will probably faint at a 40 degree-C temperature He brought rain in between the hot summer!

**a PATIENT HUSBAND towards a wife who goes mute mode from time to time..DO NOT TRY AT HOME - one could get shouted at 'nough said!

**a praying resource development manager - thank God our department is no longer an orphan

**lunches at Charles St Wharf - alone but definitely NOT lonely..

My 2007 Gratitude Highlights

I can't even begin to articulate my thanksgiving and praise for a year full of blessings and delight. The setbacks were minor, and there were always bigger reasons to be grateful for!

**In February, we finished gathering all the requirements for the Australian Embassy. We thank friends who stood with us in prayers and those who helped us accomplish them- thanks to friends who writing that statement for us; Aileen for my accomodation when I went to Manila for my interview- had a blast there, what with meeting Rosemary who was bound for Sydney that March then; Roslyn, Gavs and Rome for taking time out for fellowship in spite of your busy schedules; Jap for patiently accompanying me all through out

**May - I turned a year older and wiser!**In June we finally got hold of my case officer after months of trying to reach her. However she was totally clueless of my case, as she just inherited it from my previous case officer who got promoted. It was a blessing in disguise as she was sooo apologetic, the whole process was hastened in record time, thus my visa grant! Jones' trip

**July - my trip to Sydney to join my expectant husband. Need i say more? his birthday - I missed it but I hand carried my present - I should have captured the look on his face when he began reading the love letters I wrote as far back as 1999, years before I even met him.

**Had my first job interview - they skipped the tell me about yourself question, as most of my interviews were behavioral, with emphasis on skills/behaviors that are important to employers.

**Towards the end of Sept/early Oct, I got hired and worked - two days in two weeks, for a natural solutions and fertility clinic. The experience taught me that I didn't want to be people's first point of contact on the phone (hahaha! i had difficulty understanding the accent). I was trained on database admin, which made my job now so much easier because of that exposure - I wasn't happy with the boss wasting two weeks of my time, but i didn't realize till I got my present job that God was setting things up for the job and org that I wanted.

**Got a job offer from HfH in November, to which I gladly accepted. God has his ways of molding our character in more ways than we can see, especially when we are still in the situation

**Commeneced paid work in December, while giving hopes and building homes =)
discovered that my bosses pray (with a passion, I may add!)
two week paid work break
Christmas - what better time to talk about Jesus than on the commemoration of His birth! for some reason there is more freedom to openly share Jesus than on any other time of the year, in my opinion
Fe's Sydney visit - check out the photos! she has to come back tho since the 3 sisters in bluemountains left when we went - sometime in sept perhaps? for a wedding?
blessings and gifts

**My brother passed his exam, found his employer and is now getting ready to travel somewhere.

GOD IS GOOD - and ALL THE TIME HE IS GOOD!

Christmas 2007

Jones and I wish all our friends and families a Christmas full of joy and laughter and a New Year full of hope and great expectations!

We thank God for connecting our lives and for the great blessing that you have been to us. We thank Him for new friends that He continues to add to us, and old friends that we will forever be grateful for loving us.

God bless us all and our households!

UP Centennial Celebration in 2008

FYI: The UP CENTENNIAL CELEBRATION (100TH ANNIVERSARY) will be
this 2008. Be part of the celebration! For UP Cebu, please contact the OFFICE OF ALUMNI
AFFAIRS DENNIS MONTERA TEL. (6332) 2338202 for the SCHEDULE OF ACTIVITIES.
Souveniers such as CENTENNIAL TSHIRTS, KEY CHAIN, COLLAR PIN, CAR PLATE now available. FOR RESERVATION, contact UP CEbu Administrator and Batch '89 ALSIDRY SHARIF (6332) 2328187 OR email your batch coordinator. FOR EVERYBODYS INFORMATION, UP CEBU IS ONE OF THE CHOOSEN CENTENNIAL CAMPUS (read: LOTS OF RENOVATIONS AND INFRA PROJECTS) keeping my fingers crossed :p

November Gratitude Highlights

I was stalking Dian's blog when I run across her October Thank You List- and then I thought, why not make one myself? My November has been particularly eventful, all of which are made possible because of God's grace and blessings.

Each item deserve a write up of its own but I need to learn to be brief as I enter a new season. Here's my list, in NO particular order:

1. Gifts of Friendship - Thank God for friendships, old and new. Specifically, I thank God for:
*****Celia and her Sydney Visit. She came to stay with us - i have to say her cooking eased my home sickness. When she made nilaga, I had stomach upset afterwards because it was sooo delicious I didn't notice that I have eaten too much. Oh, and her adobo! Remind me to make one, if you like *winkz*
*****Penrith Visits. The Dardah family has been more than a blessing to us - seeing them is always a fond reminder of my hometown, Tago. And we met their good friends Mrs E and Chris as well. Laughter is a sure thing with them around.
*****my new online buddy Karen
*****my Brisbane-based friend Mana Lals aka Insomada whom I only "met" from our hometown website, but when she found out that I have moved in Sydney, she went out of her way to call and welcome me.
*****my new friend Caloy of Center for Volunteering , fellow UPian and new down under like myself, who shared and encouraged me about job hunting issues.
*****when we crave for authentic Indian dishes, Prag and Bhat invite us to their home
*****movie night with Bijit and Rose
*****Mana T's surprise call one evening

2. Our First Wedding Anniversary last November 9th. I can't believe it's been a year! It's funny because Prag called that day to congratulate us - I just said thanks and didn't wonder what for until after hehe! We were suppose to go to Hunter Valley but after a few wrong turns, we went back home - tired.

3. Gift of a Car. Hubby's friends and his first "second" family in Wollonggong practically gave us their green Volvo  so we have something to drive around.

4. Althea's Sutherland Visit. After four months in Sydney, she finally visited our southern suburb for a separate birthday celebration..oh, and the joy of meeting her flatmates, Angie and Mildred who turned out to be fellow Talamban residents back home.

5. Saturday morning family devotions time and Jones' quick prayers every time I rant about something - it encourages me knowing that my husband relies in a power beyond himself.

6. Job offer at HfH. I can't stop raving about God and his faithfulness. Joining this organization is a dream that I didn't know was possible. I got shortlisted but my experience was more than what they advertised for. I wasn't hired, and it really left me desolate. Three weeks after, the recruiter called me again if I was still interested. A position opened, which is close to my experience and one of the interviewers recommended me for the job - is she kidding? i would work for them for free! (but i didn't tell her that of course!) I am hired, pending a reference check. Oh, and did i say the second position is paid more than the first? God's delay is NOT necessarily denial, isn't it?

7. Monday Morning Cellgroup. It wasn't an easy decision because I wanted to go to Every Nation, which is just a few suburbs away. My husband feels that God is calling us to stay in Shirelive. Three months into my struggle, God spoke to me in two words: Trust Me. I felt that He also challenged me about being faithful to Him not because of my ministry affiliation but because of my relationship with Him.

I have always attended cell meetings since I moved here but I didn't feel like I connected with the people. Lest I paint a different picture, these girls are wonderful, but it wasn't until I joined the monday morning schedule that I really connected with them. The girls are between 29-45, could be older, but what draws me to them is their sincere desire to get to know God. They are so warm and animated who just love to worship and pray.

8. Provision for my siblings' studies. End of October and early november wasn't a very good time for my family. In spite of the lack, Joseph and Matet had a 4-day trip to Manila and tuition fee for their enrollment. Isn't God a faithful provider or what?

9. Gift of a Fantabulous Husband. I have never denied that I am a difficult person, but I never realize the extent until I moved in with my husband. There are times that I would have silent spells - times that I just refuse to talk - with no explanation, and it drives him nuts. What is worst, I expect him to leave me alone until I come around - which happens faster when I am ignored.

10. Gift of Family Relationships. I am blessed with wonderful in-laws. They always make an effort to communicate, even when I was still in Cebu, waiting for my visa.

I've never been closer to my parents and siblings, even with the distance that divides us.

How about you? What are you grateful for this month?

For Single Guys Only

Subtitle: How the Benjamites Got Their Wives
I had a very interesting Bible reading last night in Judges 21 - a whole chapter being devoted to a tribe who ran out of prospective wives for their men.

The account chronicles how the rest of the Israelites made an oath never to give their daughters in marriage to Benjamites. An awful crime was committed - gang rape which resulted to death on a Levite's concubine by men of Gibeah in Benjamin. When the Israelites confronted the Benjamites of the crime, their hearts were hardened and refused to listen - which resulted to war.

The Israelites won the battle, but they grieved for their Benjamite brothers. One time during an assembly when one tribe failed to show up, they devised a plan to give the virgins to the Benjamites as a peace offering.But still the women were not enough. The solution: in a festival in a tribe called Shiloh, they instructed the men to go and hide in the vineyards, watching the girls as they come out to dance. Then the men are to rush from their hiding place and seize a wife. v21 Should the girls' fathers and brothers complain, they will be assured of their innocence, since the girls are practically snatched from them.

Thus the issue was resolved - each man caught and carried off for himself a girl to be his wife, returned, rebuilt and settled in their inheritance.

Wouldn't it be nice to have the whole nation's support in the men's quest for a wife? And wouldn't it make things easier for men and women?

Here are some points that I learned out of that account:
**men chased women (this will get me in trouble hahaha)
**when they do, they have marriage in mind (I'm reminded of the sms that says: while waiting for the right person, play around with the wrong ones)
**the wives leave their parents/homes to be with their husbands to start a family

I don't know why I am writing for men, when it is my women friends who are more open about relationship issues. Truthfully, I don't know how God will do it - all I know is I am standing in faith with my friends who are believing God for a mate!

When I was back home, a common complaint among women is the shortage of men. I thought it was just a geography issue. Four months into a new country where I recently relocated, I discovered that the women are saying the same things - unless one will consider moving to the farms or the mining areas (mind you, there's plenty of money there hehe!)

Hmmm..how did I get here? I was just fascinated at how the Benjamites found their wives during a season of drought of the opposite sex. But then again, maybe I am half hoping that this will rouse the men into stepping up, maybe even learning from the Benjamites' example.

WhaT DoEs ThAt MaKe Me?

I wonder if I am doing the right thing at all.

There was once this person whom I thought was a friend of mine, only for me to conclude now, that it was sooo far from the truth. It is a pity that we can invest so much time, money and effort on a person only to realize that what you had was not real after all.

And I am not talking about a marriage relationship, but the more I think about it, the more I am lead to believe that the analogy applies as well.

Looking back, all I could see is, it had always been a one way thing. And isn't friendship, like most relationships a give and take thing?

It is weird because after this person said all sorts of nasty things to me via sms, after she said she will stay away and not talk to me, she could say hi to me as if nothing happened. It's not that I am holding any grudge against her, I don't. It is just that in human relationships, you can't just play with people and their emotions and treat them as if they are objects.

I don't think you can just leave without having to explain what caused the disappearance and expect things to be the same where you left them. To be honest, it made me think that maybe she needed something from me - a letter to draft, a plane ticket to charge to my credit card, time to listen to her gripes about life! Who knows what she needed! However, I am through with her being user-friendly (people who use others for their own benefit) and I have more important things to do than listen to her complaints.

For someone who place so much value on friendships, I am a bit surprised with myself. Afterall, I am one person who would do anything in my power as long as it is legal, for a friend. Maybe I am wrong. Maybe we were never really friends in the first place and I was just assuming that we were.

I am not sure if it is the right thing to do at all, afterall, we go to the same church. It will take a miracle for me to want to make friends with her at all. Thank God for the multiple services! Hehehe! It is not that I am avoiding her, I just have nothing to say to her. Most importantly, thank God He heals all wounds. In the meantime, let's just wait and see how the coming days unfold.

So, what does that make me?

Gifts of Friendship

Friendship is one of the most valuable wealth anyone can possess in a lifetime. Some friends come and go but the real ones stay forever.

While I was looking through a good topic to read in my devotional, I came across the issue of real friendship that led me to examine some of my own. It was really timely because I was just thinking about some of my relationships, how it has influenced and affected me as a person.

Someone said that a friend is a jewel that shines best in the darkness of misfortune. This reminded me of someone who dumped a friend because she felt that she was never really there for her when she needed her. Now the relationship is restored because that friend figured in an accident.

Sometimes it takes for accidents to happen for us to realize a person’s value. However what I realize is, sometimes people are not real friends to us, but if we are, no matter what we have said about a friendship, we will remain real and true to it.

I am personally blessed with a number of faithful and devoted friends who do not hesitate to tell me what I need to hear even when I don’t like what they have to say. These are friends that I may not always talk to but when we do get together, it is as if we were always around each other.

These are friendships that are not affected by social status, economy, time, money or distance, nor will it be enhanced by prestige and success.
At least the real ones.

But then again maybe people also outgrow certain friendships, and that doesn't necessarily make it a fake. I mean I can think of many friends that I haven't seen in a long time, only to see them years later with the so called friendship all seemingly dead. It is sad, but then, it is a fact of life.

Sometimes I have expectations on my friendships, and when they are not met, it could get really discouraging, and disappointing. I remember a time for instance when I thought I was really great friends with this person, only to find him making insensitive comments to me. And then there was this girl whom I have invested so much of myself to, only to hear about things she has to say about me. And I can go on and on.

I don't know if it is a universal truth but I just noticed that as I grow older, I have become very sensitive. I remember having an agreement with someone that if we didn't have anything nice to say to each other, then we will just shut up. When I heard those people who are supposedly my friends say not so nice things about me, I tend to shy away from them. It makes me ask if I am being over-sensitive or what?

Or maybe I am just confident of my real friendships that I don't mind losing the dicouraging ones..

Now let me catch some sleep!