I can still clearly remember that friday night of May 15th because I had difficulty sleeping then. I tried sleeping on the couch, made it to our bed and even tried the floor but the discomfort on my tummy just wouldn't let me sleep. By midnight I decided to wake my husband, bearing in mind what they said at our childbirth class that if we ever feel anything and we were not sure what it was, then we should call the maternity ward at the hospital. They advised us to go to emergency, and to tell them that it was not pregnancy related because at that time I was only 32 weeks and a few days pregnant. Of course when the nurse at emergency took my blood pressure, I was immediately wheeled to the maternity ward because my blood pressure was so high, I was having pre-eclamsia. At that time the staff started pricking me with needles but they couldn't find my veins because I was bloated. At some point they also decided that my case was more complicated, I had to be moved to another hospital. I don't remember what time we got to the other hospital which was about 20 minutes drive by ambulance. When we got there they worked on finding my veins again and after the head specialist came, they finally did some blood tests leaving me with lots of needle marks that took years to fully heal.
In the meantime a very nice nurse came to look after me, told me to have a shower and change into a nice dress, and then broke the news that I have to change back into a hospital gown because I was booked for emergency ceasarean on the same day.
It was a shock but a couple of months ago, a friend from work also gave birth a few weeks early so in my mind, as a first time parent, I thought some births don't happen as planned and I just wanted our little boy out or we both won't be safe. So on May 16, at 2:55 pm we welcomed a 1.6 kilos little boy, held him briefly at
the operating theater and he was whisked away by the kind hospital staff to be looked after. In the meantime I was taken to recovery. I remember being woken up at 11 pm to have another look at our little
The next day my husband drove early to one hospital to see our little boy, talk to the doctors and nurses to find out how he was doing and drive to another hospital to see me and update me of what was happening. There was talks that I was going to be moved to the other hospital, but getting a bed there was a real challenge and our baby beat me to recovery after a few days that he was well within the level of care of the special care unit at the hospital where I was.
His premature birth posed an issue - breastmilk. Inasmuch as the nurses were very kind and compassionate with my situation, I felt, as a new mother, an inner pressure to produce milk for my baby. However it just didn't work out and after getting stuck at 20 mls max every time I expressed milk, I felt that maybe my baby was better off having formula. I think I felt more guilty for not having enough milk that I had to give him the next best thing, seeing how tiny he was and how much he needed the nourishment and fast!
A few days after he was moved back, he had issues with his feeding and while the specialists asurred us that he will be better off back in that other hospital because the doctors there deal with such cases all the time and they have a specialist that does his rounds regularly as opposed to one every week where we were. We had no choice but to agree because we just wanted our baby to be well and to come home with us. However that afternoon there was a distressing situation at special care and I was there. It did not help me emotionally at all and the thought that it could be our baby and he could be in a very bad shape. I knew we had friends and families praying for us, but at that time, in what was probably my lowest point in the whole ordeal, I remember telling God that if anything happened to our little boy, that I would probably be very angry (I think I used the word hate) but I also clearly remember thinking that at the end of the day, I knew that I will come back to God and He is the ONE who stays unshakable in the midst of our shaky situation.
A week after his birth I was discharged and we spent the next five weeks driving to the hospital early to feed him, do his morning and afternoon cares and leave just after dinner at around 7pm to go home and rest. We thank God for friends who made us homecooked meals. Without them we would have spent those five weeks eating hospital or fast food. After nearly two weeks, our little boy was taken back to special care at the other hospital for another three weeks til he was discharged and cleared to go home.
His birth was most certainly not what we expected but he has been a constant source of pride and joy from the time he was born. If he becomes a world traveller/musician/missionary/race car or ambulance driver - it wouldn't come as a surprise seeing that he had already been out and about in under five weeks. Or maybe he might choose the medical profession as he stayed long in hospital.
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| Mr Little No More |
In hindsight maybe it was good that we didn't have as much information, however helpful it could have been, and maybe it saved our sanity. Or God was just looking after us and being faithful like He said in his word - "..do not be afraid or terrified..He will never leave or forsake you" Deut 31.6
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An Absolutely beautifully written account of D's entry to the big wide world - Daphne
Such a faith filled woman of God and a great story of God's faithfulness. Thanks for being open - Fi
I was in tears reading your blog. I wish i knew and I wish i was there to help. I But thank God that He is almighty and able to bring people around you to help. Thank God for the gift of motherhood and your son D. Thank God for your very loving husband and friends who cared enough to be there for you during those times. You have written and recalled it very beautifully. It is a very powerful testimony of your faith.
God has a great destiny in-store for D and I will not be surprised if it will be as powerful and faith-filled a path as his birth story :)
thank you kindly leen..we had no idea how challenging it was while we were going through it, except for that one time that they took D again to the other hospital. it wasn't until after that it all dawned on us and by then it was too late to be dramatic (lol) we just laughed about it..but in saying that, we are not taking it lightly and we thank God for His grace that saw us through the whole situation.
it has given me a whole new perspective and a sort of inside information of the roller coaster of emotions that families with premmies go through - it is a privelege that we don't take lightly at all and we thank God now that we can be speak hope and encouragement to others.
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